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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Save the daydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vastmark
    ASL Info:    29/M/U.K
    Elite Ratio:    6.02 - 225/171/26
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 677
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1087



    Description:
       first edit- change to the second stanza

    Read what you like into it, it's fairly open to interpretation.
    I would say there's a definate political feel to it, but not based on anyone or thing in particular.

    feel free to voice your opinions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSave the daydots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's nothing left here for you today
    Tomorrow holds more of the same
    no more drones wait to obey
    They turned their backs, they've turned away...

    From your
    Burning bridges and stone cold heart
    sick of the lies that cover your part.

    What a crying shame
    What a crying shame
    no one's left to play your game
    You took your chances and staked your claim
    and now there's no one left......
    To save the day!

    You brought us here from the brink of death
    History may recollect
    If you're looking for praise, well don't hold your breath
    since you've dropped us to our knees again...

    Yes you
    Sold us out you stole our souls
    For a twisted dream, you burnt us whole.

    What a crying shame
    What a crying shame
    There's no one left to play your game
    You took our trust and pissed it away
    and now there's no one left......
    To save your day!




    Submitted on 2008-07-03 16:58:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Damn 61 views and not one comment, Harsh.

    Like i stated to someone before (I've been on a commenting spree) I really dislike rhyming sort of poems from those who write on Elite Skills, considering the majority that I've read are usually unbearably repetitive.(though there are some out there that i really like but i have to look like crazy to find something relatively interesting)

    But this poem, i honestly love this, it sort of reminds me of the songs we use to sing when we were younger,

    "What a crying shame
    What a crying shame
    There's no one left to play your game"

    This is the part im speaking of, it's more of an adult sing along song sort of thing, if im making any sense which im starting to doubt...

    I love the way this is set up, your words don't clash (thank god) Over all this is a really kick ass poem. I'm sorry that im being constructive towards this.

    Nicely Done.

    ~Nikki
    | Posted on 2009-01-07 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    163299

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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