Very, very nice. You're clear and direct, and I love the message you're putting out here. With such a short poem, you did a brilliant job of making sure each line serves a purpose to the overall effect of the poem. I must say the first four lines are my absolute favorite, together they are stronger than anything I've read in awhile.
One thing I think might improve your poem is a bit of punctuation. Especially between the lines "And all else is gone/Save the queer joy of nothingness" I got quite confused trying to figure out if the later line was a continuation of the former or a new thought all together. Also, the line "Save the queer joy of nothingness" doesn't seem to fit quite as nicely as the other lines. Maybe because all the other lines are more like wishes, not strait forward recommendations. But I do like the line, so maybe just try and play around with order or throw another line in so it fits more nicely?
Besides those minor things, this was a very impressive effort.
Submission Name: Wellspring
