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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ash Trailsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Passionbyapathy
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio State
    Elite Ratio:    6.06 - 174/189/127
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 174
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 596



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAsh Trailsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mark this black sky with your own light
    
      New star
    
          Stain the constellations
    
              Breathe new life into the universe
    
 One galaxy at a time.
    

    
                             Because when I love too slowly
    
          I can feel my broken soul dragging behind
    
                            Trailing at my heels, just taunting.
    
               Like a comet that only comes around
    
                  Once every couple hundred years.




    Submitted on 2008-07-04 01:20:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with proper_noun in a way. it did seem short but some times short is the best way to get your point across. but I did like it. Good Work.
    | Posted on 2008-07-06 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, but it feels like there was more that wanted out. If I'm mistaken, then that's fine, but don't let yourself be limited because you're afraid of using the wrong words. It's still a good piece. It tastes good, if that makes any sense to you.
    | Posted on 2008-07-06 00:00:00 | by _proper_noun_ | [ Reply to This ]


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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    January 10 07
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