Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: when violets beget violetsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 631
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1273



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhen violets beget violetsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    dead fingers
    form the outskirts
    of travelled sleep
    amongst me.
    what i'm lacking in comfort,
    i find in the soil.

    the movement
    of flowers
    compels me
    into the mystery wreath
    of lovers.
    yet i sigh into the seconds
    by myself
    without others.

    of the body,
    is the earth sound of mind?
    when violets beget violets,
    my tongue
    is ever-ready for a flood.
    write here:
    this is where the words form,
    follow blindly
    towards your fate.

    yet pre-destiny
    is an offshoot of wisdom.
    pan into the metal
    & cut-out thunder-fold
    while you can
    if you must.
    i form pictures
    with my hands
    so that i can listen.

    dreams
    are of the self
    when one is learning everything.
    & i've been back-engineering
    the heart of christ
    as to better placate
    this grueling light
    of summer from my blood.

    mirror, mirror,
    leave the poem
    between my face & yours
    where the lips are tied.
    i'll write my true name
    in the fog
    where it belongs.




    Submitted on 2008-07-04 13:21:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was great. Only one inconsistency. You used the U.K. English form of 'traveled' but later you use the U.S. English form of 'grueling' -- so you either need to subtract an 'L' from the first or add one to the second -- hehe. ^_^
    | Posted on 2008-07-14 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163336

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The World written by jjd
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry