[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: when violets beget violetsdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1273


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhen violets beget violetsdots

    dead fingers
    form the outskirts
    of travelled sleep
    amongst me.
    what i'm lacking in comfort,
    i find in the soil.

    the movement
    of flowers
    compels me
    into the mystery wreath
    of lovers.
    yet i sigh into the seconds
    by myself
    without others.

    of the body,
    is the earth sound of mind?
    when violets beget violets,
    my tongue
    is ever-ready for a flood.
    write here:
    this is where the words form,
    follow blindly
    towards your fate.

    yet pre-destiny
    is an offshoot of wisdom.
    pan into the metal
    & cut-out thunder-fold
    while you can
    if you must.
    i form pictures
    with my hands
    so that i can listen.

    are of the self
    when one is learning everything.
    & i've been back-engineering
    the heart of christ
    as to better placate
    this grueling light
    of summer from my blood.

    mirror, mirror,
    leave the poem
    between my face & yours
    where the lips are tied.
    i'll write my true name
    in the fog
    where it belongs.

    Submitted on 2008-07-04 13:21:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was great. Only one inconsistency. You used the U.K. English form of 'traveled' but later you use the U.S. English form of 'grueling' -- so you either need to subtract an 'L' from the first or add one to the second -- hehe. ^_^
    | Posted on 2008-07-14 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    AI written by poetotoe
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]