To wake up to this
I have satisfied my frustrations with you
and with them
the metaphor is the TV
it's the lack of imagery in your life
it is the boredom
It is going to work
and coming back
But there is more
if you read between the lines like
I woke up
You walked away from the TV
and the imagery is the creative surfacing
there is no way to get to that
without taking away the ridicule
and that is what these pages are about
I've tried so many times over and over to get to that place where I can let myself think things like
beautiful substantial nothing and everything just flows and there is no sense to this and that in itself is something that can soothe
something that can help me articulate the vast
the self will
a tangible distance from now
I feel the little tingles on the back of my neck
and really it is true what they say
you get what you need
and time is what you make it
in other words
and do your morning pages
get out of your own way
or you will be bored
you will be at a stand still
it will all stop
until you wake up and realize it has all passed you by
that's the worst of it
that is the fear
the fear cannot get to you
if it does you will be
going to work
and watching TV
that this is the air you breathe
this is the moment you live in
this is your chance to be happy
talk about it and think about it
It's about being stuck in life and feeling bored with what is going on day after day. In the beginning the speaker seems to be accepting the position it is in then following up with what they are settling for.
"The metaphor is the TV/it's the lack of imagery in your life"
I'm not sure about this. Television takes away the ability of a person to create things of their own, to entertain themselves. It feeds images and falsehoods making it easier to simply settle back and stop.
Then follows the boredom. The repetetion of work, then back. Using the t.v. to fill what boredom causes the speaker to cease doing on their own. The television is not an aid, but a replacement for the mind.
To walk away from the t.v. is to free the speaker's mind, self, life, to escape the stagnation. I have no idea what "and the imagery is the creative surfacing" is about, so I get lost there. Unless surfacing is being used as a verb meaning "to come about, up", in which case we're being told that the imagery is creativity surfacing. By allowing oneself to create their own imagery, they gain a new hold on creativity. I don't think I'm correct about that. But I'm going to continue this with that in mind.
"I've tried so many times over and over to get to that place where I/can let myself think things like"
Back to the idea of being stuck and working toward escaping it.
And then the 8th stanza is the most dense part of the poem, everything in life is coming back to the speaker. Rushing back to the speaker I would guess due to the lack of commas where there should be.
That there is no sense in any of it soothes the speaker, okay. Allowing it to feel and free itself.
"a tangible distance from now"
I read as looking into the future. If that's what it means, then it's a clever way to put it.
"I feel the little tingles on the back of my neck"
Again with the regaining of conscious feeling.
the lines starting "and really it is true what they say" all the way down to "and do your morning pages" are just... passe... cliché. The morning pages line I like, but it can't exist without the others before it, and I would suggest removing them. You won't, I already know.
I don't know if the double space has any meaning or if it was accidental. I saw it as a break in the writing switching from the speaker talking of itself to talking to the reader/someone else.
"get out of your own way/or you will be bored"
If read as the speaker advising someone, we can also assume that the speaker felt that was its problem.
"until you wake up and realize it has all passed you by"
Life, I assume. The myriad things in it that we miss sitting around watching television, doing nothing, doing drugs (guessing by a stanza that comes after it), amongst other things.
"The fear cannot get you"
being on its own line makes it important, the speaker/author feels it is important to note. The only obstacle and threat fear poses is one of intimidation. Leave it and it has no power.
Which brings us to, stanza 12, where the speaker warns of what cowing to fear will lead to as the speaker earlier shows that these things happened with it.
We end with the last two stanzas reaffirming the speakers new life and vitality and that that is what the person the speaker is talking to has to look forward to and it is far better than the passiveness that the speaker once lived and the receipient now is in.
I could be wrong about all that. I'm not as clever as some.
And part of me feels a negative side to this that isn't intended, but the speaker is settling for less in a way.
I wouldn't be surprised to find this in a magazine, or paper or some cultural arts thing. Look into it.
It's hard to follow this from beginning to end... but I felt I had a decent grasp of what its about. It strikes me as a sort of explanation of growing bored with life, to opening up and realizing new horizons, and becoming at peace with what you have. I don't know if that was the message you were trying to convey with the television set, and the boredom. Its like you were stuck in some kind of apathetic rutt in your life, and you just recently started living again. You explain the flurry of returning emotion, inspiration, and motivation, and I notice the smoking is gone. It was really a startlingly well written poem, I love the fluidity despite its spread out form. Pot still isnt a part of my life that I consider to be detrimental... not right now. It does'nt control what I do, and I dont use it to forget. So for now im gonna walk a different path.. but I wouldnt be surprised if a few years down the road im in your shoes right now.