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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Square Backed Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Oli
    ASL Info:    23/F
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 206/211/53
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 589
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1191



    Description:
       This was inspired by a band i saw at a coffee house.
    Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSquare Backed Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hey there Square Backed Soul

    what are you thinking?

    are you thinking this is bogus?

    'cuz I see it in the way

    you sway from side to side

    you're nervous and unsure

    about the things they say

    but let me tell you

    there is nothing wrong in doubting

    the things in your life

    there is truth in the words they sing

    your sharp corners

    bump against new ideas

    determined to shape you

    a new state of mind

    but you sharpen yourself

    with excuses of hypocracy

    of leagalism

    and fear of rules

    the definition of freedom

    according to the world

    rests heavy on your mind

    please listen to the real meaning

    behind the things spoken

    let the rhythm of the music

    guide you on your way

    his arms are open

    waiting for you to hear

    the secret message whispering

    I love you




    Submitted on 2008-07-06 20:18:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Typo: "leagalism"

    I really enjoyed this, especially the rhythm & like it's just being said how it is. It'd be great read aloud. It has a message that everyone will be able to take something from & I like that it's strong, standing up for itself. I don't think there's much more I can say beyond that. It's an effective & direct read that was a pleasure to encounter.
    | Posted on 2011-02-09 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm....I like it. I can't even put my finger on what I like best about it. It just reminds me of talking with friends about Christ, about what a difference He has made in my life. People see the difference in my life and are curious, but so many false beliefs and empty promises are made in our world today, that skepticism has become the society standard. But we are all frightened of not only falsehood, but also of the truth.

    I love the way you paint the picture of the struggling person. I can picture them, the internal battle portrayed by their "nervous swaying." I'm not sure if square-backed soul is the name of the group, or just the title you chose, but I think it perfectly describes the one who struggles with the message. We want things in a box, a nice square that doesn't allow for such ideas as unconditional love and undeserving grace and mercy. It depicts the attitude that keeps the soul from accepting that love, the pride that declares we need help from no one, not even God, that we are good enough on our own. But underneath the square shell we know we are not good enough on our own, and so the battle rages.

    Maybe I've totally read into this. But the message of it grabbed me...I'll be honest: I'm a flaming, unabashedly sold-out Christian. And your square-backed soul is the description of those I most desire to reach with His love. Well done my friend. I'd enjoy discussing this with you further.

    ~Jen~
    | Posted on 2008-07-07 00:00:00 | by Jengrr | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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