I went through and corrected spelling and grammer mistakes. I also added a word I thought added a little more sense. You can take my advice or leave it...
"The truth is I'm lying to myself.
I'm afraid. You see the me I wanna banish.
With him, he holds my lies and he holds me.
I wish to change but, it's become too hard; because I realize now I need him.
To allow my memories to come back, scares me. But not being the real me is too hard.
I can't live without the banished me
[So] I chose me over living afraid."
Overall, the meaning behind the poem is beautiful. I'm glad you chose to be yourself...