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    dots Submission Name: The Masterdots

    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 520
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1660

       Struggling with losing my love, who I believe is the perfect man for me...trusting Him who loves above all though

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Masterdots

    What is to be done?

    Tears flow,
    A mind weeps:


    Blackness creeps and
    Settles near
    Binding pain, deafening fear

    Roaring anguish
    Held in tight
    Capture and holds
    Oneís heart tonight

    To cast him out,
    Or leave him in
    Heart turned to stone
    Or hurt again

    An escape
    One searches desperately
    Release its plea
    A place, a time
    A destination
    Free of pain and

    Where sorrow flees
    and woeful thought,
    Despair and blackness
    Come to naught

    The reign of love
    Renewed, restored
    A height of joy
    Above the sword
    Of anger, hurt
    Of all that hates
    Of anguish, terror
    Of endless wait

    To find an Eden
    Truth be told
    One learns to be strong
    One must be bold
    And leap now blindly
    With soul of faith
    Into the Masterís
    Loving embrace

    An easy yoke
    A burden shared
    The tears all stored
    With tender care

    With nail-scarred hand
    Held out to guide
    And draw one gently
    To His side

    Giín peace in all
    And wings to soar
    Despite the chains
    Despite remorse

    A child ever loved
    Shall be
    Renewed through all

    Clench tight the thought
    Cling to the hope
    The Master loves
    Heís in control

    Submitted on 2008-07-07 01:59:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very enjoyable poem. I especially respect the way you took your pain and emotion, expressed it in a poem, but then took it a step further and related that suffering to your devotion to a higher power. I also enjoyed that your poem has a very distinct beat and rhythm without having a rhyme scheme. I think rhymes can be equally helpful or detrimental depending on the situation and you defiantly made a good choice when choosing not to rhyme your poem. You also utilize a parallel structure to some of your lines to a great advantage; "To cast him out/Or leave him in/Heart turned to stone/Or hurt again" is very effective in such a cause/effect format.
    One part of your poem that lost me however is the stanza that begins with the line "The reign of love" I'm not entirely sure what is meant by that part. Also, I noticed some minor grammatical errors in the lines "Capture and holds/Oneís heart tonight." I'm pretty sure you meant that to read "Captures and holds/Ones heart tonight."
    Besides those few things, I found your poem very clear and meaningful. I wish you further luck in your healing process.
    | Posted on 2008-07-07 00:00:00 | by vegetable | [ Reply to This ]

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