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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Secret Loverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Black Angel
    ASL Info:    15/F/Tx
    Elite Ratio:    1.94 - 12/78/71
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 68
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 784



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Secret Loverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The black abyss calls to me
    It's nothingness is so enticing
    My senses spike; everything louder
    My mind is racing in front of my eyes
    The anticipation is so sweet upon my tongue
    As I wait for it's ice cold embrace
    I lay upon fire; it burning my memories
    Darkness grips my soul, ripping it out
    My peace is chaos; the mistake is forever
    Oh, the enticing grip of suicide
    Release me from your beautiful eyes
    So I may try once more to make it right
    Forgive me oh wonder of nature
    For I now deny your existence
    Oh Death, please do not glare upon me
    For I shall join and waltz with you
    But for now I shall dance with the light
    Until we meet again, my secret lover




    Submitted on 2008-07-07 21:58:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can't put my finger on it, but something about this feels forced. That is not to say it is completely without promise. As a matter of fact I don't bother to comment on the truly awful works on this site. But I do think you should rework this and give it a spit polish.

    Try to just concentrate on the darkness and let it flow through you rather than trying to bring it out by your own will.
    | Posted on 2008-07-08 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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