Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Not Okaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNot Okaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm falling fast
    Please save me
    Since you went away
    I'm not okay

    I need your touch
    To feel you close
    What can I say
    I'm not okay

    My heart is crumpled
    It's felt empty for awhile
    Every day
    I'm not okay

    I feel you slip further
    Each time I check
    You're one more step away
    I'm not okay

    You glanced back at me
    I could tell you miss it too
    I wish you would stay
    I'm not okay

    He's blinded you, you see
    Turn around and look at me
    Now alone I lay
    I'm not okay

    You should come home
    Your place is with me
    Your gone and I'm afraid
    That I'll never be okay




    Submitted on 2008-07-08 07:38:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This has a sort of commercial quality without being campy. I could easily imagine these words being the lyrics to a hit song. This is simple enough that you can get a scene of the raw honesty behind it.
    | Posted on 2008-07-08 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163450

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Giving written by jjd
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry