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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poem of my Poemsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: twistedchick
    ASL Info:    17/girlie/United Kingdom
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 14/39/52
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 77
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 847



    Description:
       Something werid it has like a line from all the poems i've posted on here


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoem of my Poemsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I longed to share my soul with someone, so I asked the heavens to send me an angel,
    and they sent me you. When I sleep your always in my dreams and everywhere I look.
    But then someone else came along, she started to destroy everything we built together.
    She is stealing you away from me, I thought the bond we shared could not be torn
    You tell me you love me, but I know inside that you don't/
    I look at the pictures of you and me and the tears start to flood my face
    your turning into poison for the soul
    cant you see my heart, it's bleeding before you. Somewhere the one I love is with somebody else. I'm writing these words to show you that I have feelings too, but go ahead and walk right past me. You don't even remember I exist. I guess I'm staying forever lonesome.




    Submitted on 2008-07-09 17:39:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Now see... I get to comment this from the perspective of someone who knows a little back story on the issue. I know exactly what this was about, and to be honest... its probably one of your best pieces of poetry I've seen from you. If you take the time to fix up the form of this a bit, make it prettier to look at, and break up those paragraphs, it could be a masterpiece. You used a good amount of diction, unique words to fit unique experiences (though the occasional overused cliché is thrown in). You did an absolutely wonderful job of explaining your feelings in this, and thats amazing, because it was a pretty complex situation. You aren't forgotten though, he obviously still cares, seriously look at where you are now :).
    | Posted on 2008-07-12 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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