Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: careless diamondsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1188



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscareless diamondsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    will the ghost of you return
    to the place
    where we hardly ever met?
    where the mirror
    that you keep in your chest
    remembers
    some sort of childhood
    heart-practice
    played out
    in kingdoms
    made of us.

    would you give me back
    the crown
    that's been forgotten
    in the knowing of others
    less deserving
    of my wild hands
    that endure your birds
    through the fire
    of your eyes?

    i'm standing here,
    full of the mistakes
    that break me.
    full of the mistakes
    that make me,
    waiting for a sign
    that it even matters,
    these words that fall
    like careless diamonds
    from my lips.

    what is left of the body
    when the love is gone?
    does it decay,
    like i have,
    in this hushing
    of my inner self?

    feel your hands slide
    into the mysteries
    of my body
    while you can
    if you will.
    i am more
    than the hammers
    of adoration.
    i am always becoming
    everything completely...




    Submitted on 2008-07-10 03:16:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. I generally don't care for the more contemporary poems, preferring the more traditional and classic rhyme schemes. But something about your work really speaks to me, and makes me appreciate the oxymoronic simplicity and complexity of this poetic language. I'm quite envious, as I can't write this style of poetry to save my life! ^_^
    | Posted on 2008-07-14 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163508

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Giving written by jjd
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    What happens written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry