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You Make Me Love You

Author: GoKart Mozart
Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 131 /93 /49
Words: 47
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1122
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 318


okay so i know this seems a bit...vague...or moreso OFF...but, its really not.

i could explain it but sometimes good poetry is like a good joke-once you have to explain it it's not that good.

let me just give you an example:

the line: "You make my skin strong"

could represent a few different things:

the person walks for miles trying to find their love, or their lover is abusive [phsyically], or the perosn cuts themself bc of their lover and it gets harder and harder or something...

thats kinda what it was...but now i've kind of ruined it bc i dont quite know how to explain it but i've tried anyway..

You Make Me Love You

You make my hands shake
My heart break
My head ache.

You make my hair crazy
My thoughts lazy
My mind hazy.

You make my days long
My skin strong
My words wrong.

You make my eyes blue
The feeling's true
I love you.

Submitted on 2008-07-10 03:24:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  the piece shows the anxiousness of love, how easy it is to be turned and twisted in the feeling. how it affects you and consumes. and you done this all in a very simple rhyming technique. good job.

im from louisville as well.

tell me: cats or cards?

its important.


| Posted on 2008-10-30 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
  aww this is sweet : ) makes me think of my boyfriend.

i like that it isn't explained. it helped me understand it more, it made it personal for me, but made me also think about what you were thinking about too.

some people would think the rhyming is "forced" but i don't believe in forced rhymes; if it rhymes it rhymes, and i like it.

the best part of it is that every one of those stanzas, and each line, is true with love. and i love it : )

| Posted on 2008-07-10 00:00:00 | by fightingirl19 | [ Reply to This ]

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