Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Slipdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: fightingirl19
    ASL Info:    17/F/MN
    Elite Ratio:    4.98 - 148/123/48
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 56
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 870



    Description:
       my idea is good but there will be some revisions in the future, give me some ideas?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSlipdots
    -------------------------------------------


    see she had
    a great body.
    a willing
    body,
    a willing
    promiscuity.
    that you
    called on
    day,
    and night.

    she also had
    a forgetable
    face. and
    as you willed
    her body
    your body
    willed away
    from her face
    of brutality.

    my body
    isn't as nice,
    but my face
    full of grace
    as i explore
    your eager
    body
    with my face,
    and i showed you
    the true texture
    of sexuality.

    so in the end
    i slipped inside
    your mind
    and you slipped
    and fell
    for me.
    it wasn't easy
    to see,
    but you
    scared away
    my bad day,
    and showed me
    this love
    hiding behind
    the light




    Submitted on 2008-07-10 04:22:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163511



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry