Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Last Night's Rantdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    18/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.01 - 98/163/102
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 70
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 811



    Description:
       "You can rant it or chant along, like a canticle"
    --Me, AETLP/TC


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLast Night's Rantdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the while in her eyes,
    is the smile in my heart,
    and i feel hers next to mine,
    even miles apart,
    so it ain't easy, no--
    believe me, when I say that it ain't
    because I can't change: she's red,
    Evened in paint,
    Smooth edges
    corners sweep like a broom and pan,
    she's hot. but stays cool.
    like a room and fan,
    I'm doomed to can and cannots,
    So in my spot,
    so I love the IF/ANDS she drops,
    in my plots,
    no more certainty and straight lines--
    I take mine,
    I give her what's hers,
    and then I even gave mine...
    because she's that possibility,
    In a miles long shot,
    that my heart follows her
    and may never ever stop...




    Submitted on 2008-07-10 17:25:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was written fantastically. It was nicely detailed and flowed perfectly. I've been in a similar place, though I was more negitive. Keep up the nice work, and I'll keep reading

    Haely
    | Posted on 2008-11-12 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163529



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry