Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Last Night's Rantdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 635
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 811



    Description:
       "You can rant it or chant along, like a canticle"
    --Me, AETLP/TC


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLast Night's Rantdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the while in her eyes,
    is the smile in my heart,
    and i feel hers next to mine,
    even miles apart,
    so it ain't easy, no--
    believe me, when I say that it ain't
    because I can't change: she's red,
    Evened in paint,
    Smooth edges
    corners sweep like a broom and pan,
    she's hot. but stays cool.
    like a room and fan,
    I'm doomed to can and cannots,
    So in my spot,
    so I love the IF/ANDS she drops,
    in my plots,
    no more certainty and straight lines--
    I take mine,
    I give her what's hers,
    and then I even gave mine...
    because she's that possibility,
    In a miles long shot,
    that my heart follows her
    and may never ever stop...




    Submitted on 2008-07-10 17:25:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was written fantastically. It was nicely detailed and flowed perfectly. I've been in a similar place, though I was more negitive. Keep up the nice work, and I'll keep reading

    Haely
    | Posted on 2008-11-12 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163529

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Giving written by jjd
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To written by SavedDragon
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry