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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flower Petalsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rubymoon
    Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 131/131/73
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 62
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlower Petalsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Twirl around with the flowers falling
    Make a circle, a ring of innocence
    Stand in the middle of petals scattered
    The symbol of flitting beauty
    Of seasons come and seasons pass

    The silky feel brushing against your skin
    A moment to savour on the way down

    Smelling the fragrance, the fragile tone
    The alluring scent released, from
    the crushed petals underfoot

    The bright colours fading
    Losing the individual shapes
    Being smeared into the mud...
    being treasured all the more for that

    A moment captured in the mind’s eye




    Submitted on 2008-07-11 08:06:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I would change "flitting" to 'fleeting' and "pass" to 'past' -- but other than that, I really like this! I love poems that use flowers, and you've done this one well.

    --
    "Being smeared into the mud...
    being treasured all the more for that"
    --

    This was my favourite line. Wonderful!

    Cheers,

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2008-07-14 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]


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