Yes, Mr. by MinervaBlu

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Submission Name: Yes, Mr. dots

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Author:	MinervaBlu
ASL Info:	17 nowhere
Elite Ratio:	3.63 - 240/230/178
Words:	230

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	78
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	1846

Description:

Yes, Mr. dots

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Yes, Mr. Spider weave your web
Web of lies
Trap me on the sticky thread
With my smile
Cover me up and tight
to drown out my cries
Drain the love right out of me
Please make it a short while

Yes, Mr. Weasel steal my heart
And bury it deep inside
Slither like Mr. Snake into my mind
Place thoughts of love true
Mend and patch the cracks
Atleast it was revived
And fill in the missing pieces
With images of you

Yes, Mr. Devil fill me up with hurt
I'm your slave. There for use
Tell me you love me to kill me
Confusing love for lust
Trick me to love you so much
Then begin the hidden abuse
Tell no one of the real reason
You've always had my trust

Yes, Jimmy you have hurt me
Yet you don't understand how
You're blind to the lies you said
And how the hit like a plow
You made yourself believe
That you loved me for real
But the love was dusgiused lust
Now the searing pain I feel

After all, I've always said
Love is lust wrapped in a pretty ribbon
I should've learned my lesson

Submitted on 2008-07-11 19:45:23 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I love how you've allowed this poem to evolve from almost abstract observations to an extremely personal experience. It seems as if you've taken time to analyse the character very carefully and almost as if from a distance and then apply your findings on a level that is so close and real that it takes your breath away... to realise the impact one person can have and the sadness of empowering another person to have that sort of affect.

Very well written and brilliantly delivered!
| Posted on 2008-07-16 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't know this Jimmy guy, but I've got to hand it to him. He has been the cause of some great work! I really enjoyed this piece, the symbolism, the poem within a poem, and the emotion that has been felt all throughout history by people that are taken for granted. The sad fact of the matter is, you will keep learning lessons because they will never end. Life is sadly like a diamond for most. It starts out ugly and rough, disregarded by an untrained eye. Over time, through all the trials and tribulations of Mother Earth, a beautiful gem is found, hopefully to be given to those who will appreciate it for what it truly is. I don't really comment much on people's work, but I think you've got talent kid (I use "kid" lightly, no offense) :) I'm not a teacher but this gets an A+. Thanks!
| Posted on 2008-07-15 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the use of metaphors especially from a spider to devil to the person the piece was written about . I also like the use of the description of love as lust with a bow tie . I really believe some times love is really a cherry on top when it come to relationship or friendship turning into love unfortunatly sometimes in life its a one sided affair and reality people are possecif and greedy with love and they dont care if they hurt your feeling
| Posted on 2008-07-13 00:00:00 | by temporal nights | [ Reply to This ]

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