Description: I worked really hard on this guys, I hope you really like it. Its like nothing I or any of you have ever written before! Please, like my poem! Be my friend, or I will kill myself.
I hate my life.
Where is my knife?
In front of my mirror
Cold as ice
My wrist I start to slice
I feel the pain
In my disdain
I knew that I feared
Looking down at the ground
I shed another tear
Locked within my bed room
My parents took my TV
And handed me the broom!
My brain was really pissed
I hate you both I hissed!
So i clinched my fist
And cut along my wrist
I cut but only scraped
I can't believe I missed
I'm such a stupid bitch!
They really made me cry
And for that I wanna die!
You broke into my heart
Tore my world apart
Locked my feelings in a cage
Filled my tounge and lungs with rage
And I slowly die inside
Upwards, I hitch a ride
Unless the devil grabs me to confide
My bloody blade leaves behind
Cuts of hate...
The cuts of hate...
Yeah, the cuts of hate man.
wow, hey MyX, this really got alot of comments. i decided to view over some of your old stuff, but wow, i didn't know that everyone liked your work this much.
okay, to me, this poem was funny, probably when you put yourself down for missing when you tried to cut yourself, it was just funny. and this poem is of course, true to many people in the world, trying to cut themselv'es because they cant take the pain of life...ahh, poor [censored]s. but i did like this MyX, it made me laugh and a little sad...crazy i know..
later man
one day i hope to be as great as you in my poetry skills, your like my poetry hero. its cool
I don't know who the f*cks been posting my goddamn email address all over this site and sending me crap emails but they better stop it. First of all, I've never done anything to anyone on this site. Second of all, I'm well above killing myself, thank you very much. Finally, I honestly hardly ever use this site anymore. I don't have time for it, so I haven't posted anything (including comments) for at least 2 months.
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF. BUT IM TO SCARED. PEOPLE LAUGH AT ME. WHAT DO YOU THINK. SHOULD I KILL MYSELF OR NOT ? ITS ALL UP TO YOU PLEASE TELL ME..I AM WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY PLEASE E-MAIL ME emospazticdeleted@yahoo.com or emospaztic@yahoo.com
Beautiful, utterly beautiful (and so true.) This is the kind of expression I can really appreciate for it's honesty and conviction. All that read this should take note of its words, they are not far-fetched in the slightest sense.
I'm gonna take a long shot and guess that either you have never cut before or you haven't in a long time before you wrote this? either way this seemed a little mocky like you took bits and pieces from every cutting poem...props to you- you never cease to ammuse...although some of these people always get pissed off:) something tells me that's half the reason you bother to post? lmao commenting on your own work? something told me you had the urge to [censored] yourself? ok that was a really poor pun *hits head on wall* will do better next time. anyway good write...if it weren't for writers like you I might just go around and post mean comments on everyones without reading the work for a week or so. ok that was pretty [censored] random laters.
if this really happenend notice that you are still alive it shows your strength that you were able to defeat the negative you have a very good way with words i read a couple of your poems
im hoping the negativity has left you and you are now on a straight course with the positive
keep writing as it heals
Please if you get a chance read some of my poems and let me know what you think
WOW how old were you when you wrote this? I don't know exactly what to say about this one here. Your style is different from mine I grant you that and for that reason alone, I find the words that I need to comment on this piece have excaped me. Oh and by the way how ingenious of you to comment on your own work! Dam do you have an ego or what?
I give you credit on your unique style of writing but in my opinion I don't find it to be all that "amazing". Again our tastes and styles differ. Well I'll say that I tried to grasp this one and I couldn't. Maybe you can enlighten me one day but until then, Keep on writing.
Why do i like this poem so much you ask well, "Because it had a good rhyme sceme and what not, but most of all because it is "real"." Ask me what real is and i will tell you but your poem is really real. That's all i can say, and i can also say, you have mad skills. So never put down the pen. Unless your having sex hahaha. But no keep writing.
as far as the piece goes, it was well written and well said.. i enjoyed the flow and the rhyme as well as the emotion and thought you put into it.. but as far as the topic.. i have to say that i think suicide is a pussy way out even though it takes balls to do it.. it takes even bigger balls to stand up to your problems and life like a man.. i can't tell if you are just putting yourself in the situation or this is actually you, so i won't make any assumptions.. overall good write, it's the best from you i've seen
Honesty i dont really write poetry but i like stories that are ture to the heart, this is something which draws a clear story when i read it. I personally like it, and thats really all i can say. I have said alot of crazy [censored] on this site but this time i am serious. Ok well i just thought i would add my 2 cents!
MAN U WANNA BASH MY NIGGA TROY AKA UNKNOWN SOILDER ON HIS WRITE WELL THEN [censored] U U COCK ASS MOTHER [censored]ER JUST KNOW THAT WE GOT ALL THIS AND U DONT WANNA START NO SHIT BEFORE U GET UR ASS BEAT
i'm so sick of reading crap like this on this site... just go kill yourself and get it over with.. quit coming on here taking up space with your pleas for attention and pity... and nobody's going to take your writing seriously with all those typos... this reads like a cracked out gay prostitute preaching on a street corner...
seriously, though... this made me laugh... it made me cry... made me want to blow my brains out so i wouldnt have to read anymore of it...
um... i like satire... i tried a piece sort of along the same lines... i guess maybe cause people didnt know my personality, they all thought i was serious... which made it even funnier... 'please dont hurt yourself..." hehe...
anyways... i was amused by this... but.. i think i would have liked it better if you would have just outright bashed these types of people... cause i think you could give them a good proper bashing... which they rightly deserve...
wait... you mean... you were serious? OMG! um.. i mean... please dont cut yourself... i'm a person you dont know.. writing to you on a computer... but.. i'd miss you so much if anything were to happen to you...
um.. i'm gonna stop this now.. i'm making myself sick... hope it does the same for you..
Ya wanna know what I think? Well...probably not, but I'm gonna tell ya anywayThis is such bullsh*t! Every f*cking word of this is bullsh*t! I dont know you really well but I know you well enough and you would NEVER write something like this and be serious about the submission! Your description was a clue but then just reading this was a dead give away! And you always seem to put a smile on my face one way or the other as so many people around here write about this self mutilation, suicidal sh*t, and I see this as mocking every one of those friggin poems! Awesome!I hate those poems and there are millions of them here! And I also know you hate this kind of rhyme scheme so you certainly wouldn't seriously write this way!Haha!See...this is why I give you smiles...because you give them right back to me! Good stuff here in a really sucky kinda way! Take care!
I read some of the comments the others had to say...I really have no comment..Not in a bad way or anything but looks as if it all has been said. Either way you look at it...If you like it...if you hate it...if you have been there...Alot of the members dig ya dude..Have a good week
So here we learn that it's not just the work that counts, it's the presentation of said that really makes it's mark. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. I thought that those comments you put on were just brilliant; you included every kind of lame ass comment you could get on a piece. You made a fine example of teen angsters and the company they keep.
Although some may not think it funny, I though it complete genius. You not only did one of those cheesy "I wanna die" pieces, you added a description that puts a guilt trip on the reader, plus you added the comments that both pokes fun at more teen angsters and bad commenters. You put in context everything an attention seeking teen angster would try to pull to get noticed, while making the poetry cheesy sounding enough to really fit the part. There are so many facets you hit with this piece that ring so true.
Teen angsters should really read this. Most of them would take it negatively, but perhaps they would realize how silly they sound. There are more potent ways of saying "I wanna die" than using clichés and sounding idiotic and immature.
You are brilliant. The comments you supplied really tricked this out and made it so perfect! You really know how to present your material! Top marks from me!
I'd rather see someone diss their own work than see someone who has no idea how to critique say "You didn't spell tongue right". I don't care for your topic at all, but hey, at least you're having fun with it. :D
yeah, so i've browsed the remarks and the ones to yourself were sooo right on man...i mean your sucha fvckin genious...whatever..honestly...i always click your work and never comment for reason 1.) pieces are too long anfd im a lazy [censored]...2.)im jealous..(first and last time i'll ever say it)...or 3.)i'm completely disgusted by your balls...figuratively speaking..hehe...anyway..this is the sattirical twist thati've been reaching for...your angst is sooo profoundly recognizable...doh! i really feel for ya man...do me a favor...use the Venus Blade over the Schick...much sharper!...and i want to reach out and hold you and tell you that everything will be okay...i promise..MyX...you're worth it...DONT DO IT I LOVE YOU I NEED YOU PLEASE LOVE ME TOO with lots of comments on my next ridiculous plead for empathy...rock on X...ima gonna open my mind a little more to enjoy your skillage! thanks, man
[censored]! i pissed myself over this one, man. [censored]ing hilarious, the poem was good satire in an of itself, but damn, with the description and your own [censored] comments (retarded humor in its finest hour...) ok, i'm really late in commenting but i just ran across this, and had to say something. cause i think the person i clicked on it from took it serious.
Dude, fu ck the poem, it was all in the description. The poem was just the punch line. Great setup. This reminded me of my own deprived upbringing by middle class suburban parents who didn't care and didn't understand. Not. *wink* Dave
You funny, funny boy. I retract my statement on fruit salad. Ohhhh.... Funny boy. Damn. I hate to break such a great comment (although not a patch on any of the other MyXes...) But ya spelled tongue wrong. That's all. You know me. I have to tell. I'm one of those lame-ass losers that you hate so much, but hell I think I can just about live with that... It was different. I wanted different and I got it, thanks, even though I know you posted this before I made my comments. Back to waiting in the shadows until another [censored]ty speller comes along...
i laughed a sort of snicker laugh. but that's more than i have done on any other poems. except stink's ppertinent information...i pissed myself.
how could someone think this was serious? tell me that purpledinosunsaur doesn't think this is legit. stop playing hide the IQ with the innocent...it only f.ucks them up in their late teens.
*clapping* I don't know how this poem is supposed to be something like neither you nor any of us have ever written before - i'm tempted to get get some citations to prove you wrong. But now, I like this poem more for its satirical edge built up from your own comments and the comments you were able to elicit. How many people on this site claim to have written the new hotness? With the implied threat that disagreement = suicide? This is textbook and while the poem is good, it pales besdie the skillful psych manipulation. Too bad it looks like nobody got it shard
Dude myx, i think your on crack, why the fu-ck do you comment your own stuff? Well whatever i liked this poem, I thought it was deep and twisted and i like...deep and twisted stuff...yeah. Anyway, i think you want attention real bad, and i think your unpredictable. That's f-ing cool! Jan,
its ok dont slit your wrist sometimes its really hard but if you just think good thoughts ...just look at yourself in the mirror and pick out all the good thingsabout yourself...it will make you feel better..nice write...great flow...hang in there...im feeling ya
this has to be the best thing ive ever read on this sight...this is why im here man...because of people likeyou who are so talented...brought a tearto my eye...when you said i shed another tear i shed another tear...
This reminds me when i wrote about the very same thing, you know, i try suicide once a week, and feel it necessary to exhibit it to everyone with my original poetry. Slitting wrists is a way of life, and I think you've captured that here. Great word flow and analogy usage...totally original, never would have thought of that myself... MyX
I think you rock, so don't kill yourself. This was really sweet. I think you are really sweet. Will you [censored] me? I think you should [censored] me. What do you think? Hee hee! See you on AOL TODD!
this is just amazing such orignal wording...great flow...u should check out my stuff sometime...is not as good as your but it reminds me of this one poem i wrote...
Out of the shackles of the greatest pig [censored] bull[censored] don't want you to understand exactly what i'm saying here man, so I'm just gonna throw out soome random words...yeah the great beer busty cardboard filler dingaling donut faced pie holes man! This is the utterly wholesome blossom fully abstract gibber jabber...pish posh...piss on my leg, i don't make sense, like me anyways. Blaahhh. Gibberish. Hornswaggle. Like me too.
i toatally understand how you feel ...great write...this was so orignal...my favorite part was about the tv...im really feeling you...awsome..keep writing
Eh hem, MyX, this could potentially be your best work to date. Aside from a few gramatical errors...like the misuse or lack thereof commas. You spelled baboon wrong, oh wait, you didn't use that word did you? Ha ha.. Just work on your spelling a little and you'll be a fine writer.
Submission Name: Killing Myself
ok that was a really poor pun *hits head on wall* will do better next time. anyway good write...if it weren't for writers like you I might just go around and post mean comments on everyones without reading the work for a week or so. ok that was pretty [censored] random
This is such bullsh*t! Every f*cking word of this is bullsh*t! I dont know you really well but I know you well enough and you would NEVER write something like this and be serious about the submission! Your description was a clue but then just reading this was a dead give away! And you always seem to put a smile on my face one way or the other as so many people around here write about this self mutilation, suicidal sh*t, and I see this as mocking every one of those friggin poems!
Haha!