This piece serves well to illustrates the wide canal between the needs of lust and the needs of true emotional well being. So often when we give in to the former the latter is left bruised and battered. Why is life so freaking contradictory sometimes?
Again I enjoyed your travelogue style of taking me where you need me to go.
Hm... I just did it again too. I thought I was over this relationship that lasted way too much just to find myself holding her in my arms again. I made sure this time it's really over but who the [censored] knows... so I can really relate to this. Good write !
Oh my, it's much better than in the John Mayer song of the same name. It looks like by the time I got here you must have done an edit along the lines of Apt Pupils recomend. The tone is so human, you write in the language of everyday conversation. But I am confused because you rue what has happened. Is this some change that has come about, or did I mis understand from the begining? Well I think the pain is real, the poem is personal, and of course, excellent. Dave
Yes Piaf would make something out of this. And die singing it. The eternal paradox: damned if you do... So. If damned then be damned. Deafened by a song of (cupidity). Perfidia's last goodbye. Get some ice on those lips...
You are a very effective narrator and story teller. Very photo-realist, evocative and attentive to small detail. So nuance is a bonus by-product. Just very good. K
Aftermath usually involves travelling home on some decrepit public transport that matches your equally decrepit and filthy body and soul. And people keep looking at you and you can't help but think that there's sperm in your hair or the knickers that you thought you'd lost are actually slowly but surely making a break for freedom through the bottom of your trouser leg. And all the way you're thinking "omg I can't believe I was such a [censored] idiot/yeahbutitwasgoooooood/Huh, so much for all the good intentions/yeeeah but it was good, you dirty dirty girl....." I know. Thanks. Huh. But if it's any consolation, I grew out of it. I grew up and my will hardened. He couldn't take advantage of me any more... now the stiletto is on the other foot; I'm the one who has the power to say come back to bed... But I like my bed the way it is; empty. For now.
I liked the serendipity line too. But don't think of it as serendipity; that would mean infallible forces are conspiring against you. Think of it as you being weak-willed and immature, cos at least you can change that. Know what I mean?
But good write. I like the way you're such a sex kitten. I am too. I just don't wanna post stuff like this cos then all the pervs will come to my page and copy my pics for the evening's wank-fest. Power to ya....
<insert something comforting that's witty and informative to hear that will make you feel better about this, which has already happened and cannot change>
the back and forth between wrong and right is very subtly shown here, in enlightenment and stupidity that is not dull as one might think indecisiveness would be as an internal monologue. very evocative to stand in front of a mirror and see the sweet damage to your body for yourself and still not be able to to make up your mind for good. great write.
I hate writing this, but this is nearly exactly what I was feeling sunday nite. Nearly. It's so great while it's happening, it's so perfect and wonderful, and like you said-- enlightenment. (I thought of the word "Nirvana" in the aftermath.) I tried leaving once, but he called me back to the couch, and I hesitated but then gave in. As I drove away (there was no time for pattering), my heart ripped in two and this enormous void opened up inside of me. You know it. I know it.
Tried to end things last night, and he came tiptoeing back over the course of today... we'll see what happens in the next few days.
ANYWAYS- you got it just right. Hit a soft spot with this piece.