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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Glowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nicodemous
    ASL Info:    26/M/Hell
    Elite Ratio:    6.27 - 204/133/82
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 75
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 690



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGlowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to paint my world different shades

    I won’t use black

    But I might use gray

    Passions Ignite

    Bursting into hues of red and orange

    Light flickers with dancing flame

    I look at you and the world melts away

    Into a soft warm glow

    It’s vibrancies still bleeding through

    Making you all the more beautiful

    Then I realize as my world goes cold

    All I see is the warm glow

    Opaque

    As though a filter

    And I know your glow can never be

    A light that shines down on me




    Submitted on 2008-07-16 19:32:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      When I read this poem, i pitchure a person with a paint brush, painting a gaint white room with wonderful happy bright colors, that filled the room with glow. You did another great job.

    Grimm Reaper
    | Posted on 2008-09-12 00:00:00 | by grimmreaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I know that I should have something constructive to say, but I'm tired...have a headache, and just really like it. I think it's poignant. Enough said.
    | Posted on 2008-09-10 00:00:00 | by suneideises | [ Reply to This ]
      This is exquisite, lovely. Original how you associate life with colors (lively colors correspond to positive emotions, dark colors with melancholy, and grey being in between, a neutral color, no?) and how a loved one has a glow, a very vibrant, radiant glow, but unfortunately that glow isn't reflected toward you.

    This piece of work reminds me of a Russian pop song quite a bit, at least the first few lines. The chorus of it goes something like this (if I translate correctly):

    I would repaint the moon
    Into million of different colours
    Into a blue wave, into a golden sand
    And the sun would be warmer
    And would be more radiant than the fire,
    The queen of the nights, butterfly-moon

    So your work has two different perspectives a positive one and a negative one, but what I like is that the tone of this piece is innocent-like. There is of course discouragement and gloom but there's no harshness, no viciousness, only innocent child-like harmless emotions.
    | Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by wordsofmind | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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