[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Luckdots

    Author: BlueTorcher
    Elite Ratio:    4.67 - 79/97/96
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1019
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1299

       Its a little shaky but then i havent written anything in a while.

    Comments are welcome

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In your face I see the sorrow
    Of this summers day

    Going back to the beginning
    Neither of us knowing the fate
    Of this paticular day
    Laughing and smiling, carefree we were

    Not knowing (of) the danger and destruction that lurked

    A joke,a laugh, a kiss, a tease
    All of these a game
    Yet now
    So much more meaningful to me
    An idea, a suggestion, a detour, a trip

    All these led to our demise
    Oh yeah!!
    It was a "fun" trip

    Dark streets
    Black sky
    Perfect recipe for diaster
    Its just to bad, we decided to go faster

    Pavement winding with yellow stripes
    All the way

    Yelling at the top of our lungs
    We notice nothing at first
    Until we realize......
    This is the edge of a cliff

    Yannking back into reverse

    Tires clenching, motor running at top speed
    As the car goes forward instead of backward
    And tumbles into a tree

    They'll remeber this day
    They swear as they get stiched up
    But no one really cares
    Since for them its just a thing of luck


    Submitted on 2008-07-16 22:08:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    Reading this I felt as if I was on a roller coaster detailing human life
    To me you are speaking of 2 people who have finally decided to get married yet they do not realise the full responsibilities of such a union
    I thought you pulled this off very very well
    Excellent job my Friend!!!
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]