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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Suicide of a Sisterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MC white
    ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71/73/45
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 631
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 551



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Suicide of a Sisterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I found her there
    hanging there
    from her eyes
    the blankest stare
    the color still,
    her blue unchanged
    as if to say:
    "I'm still the same,
    the sister that you knew so well
    'cept released from my secret hell"
    I took her down and held her close
    I thought that I had known the most
    of all her pain
    of all her shame
    and now I can't even speak her name
    that angel floating above the ground
    I mouth it now without a sound




    Submitted on 2008-07-17 07:10:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      at first i thought that
    "hanging there
    from her eyes"
    meant she was hanging by her eyes, which was actually a really weird yet good way to put that. if that makes sense. this is pretty original, not the subject, but how you wrote it.
    keep writing!
    -Elizabeth
    | Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by informations | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way you described the way you knew your sister, If this was true, my sympathies.

    Mechanically, I think you should revise the line
    "'cept released from my secret hell"

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i don't know if this really happened to you but you did a wonderful job portraying you're experience. kudos
    | Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]


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