This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17. It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different. All content will be deleted. Backup anything important. --- Staff
I found her there
from her eyes
the blankest stare
the color still,
her blue unchanged
as if to say:
"I'm still the same,
the sister that you knew so well
'cept released from my secret hell"
I took her down and held her close
I thought that I had known the most
of all her pain
of all her shame
and now I can't even speak her name
that angel floating above the ground
I mouth it now without a sound
| at first i thought that|
from her eyes"
meant she was hanging by her eyes, which was actually a really weird yet good way to put that. if that makes sense. this is pretty original, not the subject, but how you wrote it.
|| Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by informations | [ Reply to This ] || I liked the way you described the way you knew your sister, If this was true, my sympathies.|
Mechanically, I think you should revise the line
"'cept released from my secret hell"
|| Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ] || wow i don't know if this really happened to you but you did a wonderful job portraying you're experience. kudos||| Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ] |