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The Suicide of a Sister


Author: MC white
ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71 /73 /45
Words: 86
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1000
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 551



Description:




The Suicide of a Sister



I found her there
hanging there
from her eyes
the blankest stare
the color still,
her blue unchanged
as if to say:
"I'm still the same,
the sister that you knew so well
'cept released from my secret hell"
I took her down and held her close
I thought that I had known the most
of all her pain
of all her shame
and now I can't even speak her name
that angel floating above the ground
I mouth it now without a sound




Submitted on 2008-07-17 07:10:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  at first i thought that
"hanging there
from her eyes"
meant she was hanging by her eyes, which was actually a really weird yet good way to put that. if that makes sense. this is pretty original, not the subject, but how you wrote it.
keep writing!
-Elizabeth
| Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by informations | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the way you described the way you knew your sister, If this was true, my sympathies.

Mechanically, I think you should revise the line
"'cept released from my secret hell"

~Carrie
| Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
  wow i don't know if this really happened to you but you did a wonderful job portraying you're experience. kudos
| Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]


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