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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Guaranteedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: 777sacrites777
    ASL Info:    24/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 343/189/83
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Guaranteedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If it's space you want,
    you got it; what ever it takes.
    I'm willing to change
    every one of my mistakes.

    Even if that means
    everything that makes me ME.
    This may sound cliché,
    but you've got me on my knees.

    Now I'm not going to beg you,
    but I strongly insist
    that you give this another go,
    'cause I guarantee I'll be missed.

    You may think this is the answer,
    but soon you'll get what I'm saying.
    The longing you'll feel, the loneliness,
    I assure will have you praying

    for YOU a second chance.
    You'll see just what you've done
    to the greatest thing in the world
    that you didn't deserve, but won.




    Submitted on 2008-07-17 15:39:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very focused peace, normally I meander all over the subject changing themes and rhymes in the middle cuz I have add like a [censored]. The only "constructive criticism" I can offer is that theres a couple rhythm hiccups with too many syllables in the lines. But it still reads fine and thats the important part.
    Josh
    | Posted on 2008-07-18 00:00:00 | by MC white | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, THIS makes sense.
    I get what your saying with the ending stanza.
    And BTW, You've got strength.

    This is a proud poem. I like it, Never begg.
    Thats beneath us all.

    As for Mechanics nothing wrong as far I could see.

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-07-17 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
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