Description: Ok, so right now thats all i've got, eventually i kinda want to write it into a story, but i like other peoples view on that question at the end.
Anyway as an update, me and my mom talked about it. She said that God doesn't want suicide so if he doesn't want that to happen then it will provide a way out, otherwise you just have to go thru with it. I put in what if God way out was suicide and thats what choice he gave you. I know none of you read long entries and i won't get any comments on it but hell it was fun discussing it with my mom at least.
Is it a Sin? -------------------------------------------
OK, so last night I dreamed a witch came and tried to take over the world. For some reason something I did made me invulnerable, (makes sense being my dream and all lol.) So she decided to kill my boyfriend (dream one since i don't really have one) So she turned him into a zombie. He told me to that in death he had seen what she would make me do. I would have to chose to kill (please don't get mad I don't want to do this it just a dream) a whole race/nation of people. I could chose Jewish people or Mexican people. (he was Jewish) He asked me not to chose the Jewish people because they were his race. So i chose the other. Anyway she killed all of them. I thought that was a pretty stupid punishment, But turns out that wasn't my punishment. Each of the people she killed turned into a zombie. Now her mind control powers didnt' work on my but she could still have 'minions' tie me up and stuff. So anyway she tied me up on a hill next to my zombie boyfriend who now was so decomposed he couldn't' help me. But was still there since she hadn't released him. He was lying next to me whispering that it would be over soon, (and that was a comfort) Anyway it turned out that the punishment was that each of these zombies was going to ummm... have their way with me until i became pregnant with a very very evil baby. (again still a dream) I wanted to commit suicide, but (my religious beliefs carried into this dream oddly enough) Its a sin to commit suicide and you go to hell for it. I then woke up with a very serious question on my mind.
If that was to really happen (or some various form, where i would be used for a horrible Satanic catastrophic ritual) Is it a sin to commit suicide to get out of that?
(ps even though it was scary, i fucking love having complicated dreams like this)
"OK, so last night I dreamed a witch came and tried to take over the world. For some reason something I did made me invulnerable, (makes sense being my dream and all lol.)"
Well first of all she didn't try to take over the world. In our dreams the world doesn't exist. She was trying to take over your world. Your dream world.
I don't have time to do it like this so I'll get to the bottom line. This witch you dreamed was not an outsider. She was created by your imagination, with a secret meaning. I see her rather fulfilling your desires not acting against them, your suppressed ones that is. In that dream you had a nice Jewish boyfriend, maybe one like your mother would want you to have one day? And this witch comes and kills him. Why? I think she is a representation of how you would like to be someday. Dark and ruthless not just another nice girl. That's why she destroyed the world to free you, although in a totally opposite and twisted way.
"Anyway it turned out that the punishment was that each of these zombies was going to ummm... have their way with me until i became pregnant with a very very evil baby."
This is the key to your dream. It seems to me you didn't live your life 'till now like you wanted to. Maybe you wanted to have more sex in your life but you were not allowed to and were afraid. Hence the evil baby. Maybe in your past you didn't have sex because you were afraid you will get pregnant and or because nobody around you wanted you to do it. Or you were afraid to go out with someone because you thought you would get raped. That's why the central theme here is the fear of imprisonment, more specifically the fear of true relationships. You're just like me with this one. You don't want a relationship because you will get tied up but you do want the sex. :)
That's why that witch came to you, to destroy your fears by making you confront them.
Now all of this could be related also with something that happened to you in your past. I don't know you so I will not comment on that.
The way I see it is: you are tired to be a nice girl and maybe you would want to be one of "those girls", you know what I'm talking about...
However the answer to all of this is simple. Try to open up more, don't listen to your parents your whole life BUT don't become like that witch. Don't let your ingrown desires turn your sexual drive around. Those repressed and suppressed thoughts are trying to turn masochistic. Don't go that route, cause afterward you will have nothing else to explore. Try to find someone nice with which you can have fun and nothing more than that. Just go out, have some drinks, dance a bit and have fun. In some way this is the true meaning and reason of your dream: you are to young to be tied up, you know?
I read your poem.
I had a dream about suicide last night myself.
It started out with me having this popup window on the computer giving me the option to die now in my dream or live my sucky life. I think i choose the button on the left, which would be "die in my dream". Yet i am still alive.
The atheist guy's comment down there was nice. It had some of the typical points atheists make. but the emphasis he/she put on zombies was a turn off for seriousness. and i hope it is for you too pryncessvenom.
just know that you should guide yourself. and if things go bad, just salvage what you can of it. and dont be afraid to try harder next time.
I think you have to ask yourself a few things.
According to Christians, God hates witches (which don't really exist, but God plays in fantasy land) and being a witch is a sin (what isn't?). I suppose zombies aren't a sin. My tired mind doesn't recall "thou shalt not be a zombie". One could call Jesus a zombie, coming back from death and all.
Anyway, the witch is committing a sin that God demands people punish in various ways.
I'm less certain of suicide being made a sin in the Bible. I know Dante Alighieri's Inferno called it a sin. I also know some Christians don't actually read their sacred text and a lot of the strongest beliefs Christians I've known held were to be found in that particular book (and Paradise Lost, by Milton), not the Bible. I'll look it up. Okay, I can't find anywhere in the Bible where it explicitly states suicide is sinful.
However, you can interpret many passages to mean that. Not that that is anything new with the Bible, you can interpret many passages to mean so many things that the whole interpretation angle is as useless as the literal angle. But let's assume it is a sin.
Would you still want to worship that god, called God? A God, who in all his divine love and mercy, would rather you be raped by thousands (more than that if it's an entire ethnic group plus your pretend boyfriend) of dead zombies created, and controlled by a witch (who is already a worse sinner than you to begin) rather than allow you to die with dignity? Is this a great and loving father figure that anyone could actually worship? Sure, if you delude yourself enough. I think it says something about the thing you believe in (if you do) that you would even have to think the question. How sadistic does he have to be to prefer that?
But then, Christianity is all about self-loathing and putting yourself below everything. So in that sense, putting yourself below so many zombies would certainly get God's rocks off.
Is it a sin? According to some Christians, it is (and since religion isn't logical, there's no point arguing the point) According to others it is not (same thing). According to people who care more about personal dignity, it's up to you. Are you dignified being raped by so many zombies? Are you dignified being raped, abused, and used like that to begin with? And why isn't God helping you?
Really, the question seems more like, "Is God even worth the respect and praise people laud upon it if they honestly have to seriously consider that killing theirself rather than be zombie army raped for super evil babies (would their sperm even be viable?) is worse.
But if you're just going with general God stuff. If God actually considers it a sin, then yes, it is a sin and you should enjoy the zombie horde rape, because God would prefer that to suicide, apparently.
After all that (I hope I don't sound confrontational, I don't feel that way), if done well enough this would probably make an interesting story. I could see it as a dark comedy or just a dark story. I would lean to dark comedy because that would be more my comfort zone.
But if you're considering the story angle, I encourage you to pursue it. (I know how it feels when people see long things and don't comment. Or just don't comment on anything at all for that matter. I didn't think this was long). Another thought, in the "type/class" section, the type would be more appropriate as either rant or random thoughts. Though misc fits too. The class would be prose at the moment. Don't know if you care.
"Anyway it turned out that the punishment was that each of these zombies was going to ummm... have their way with me until i became pregnant with a very very evil baby."
Is it a sin lo laugh at this part? Cause I'm laughing right now. Anyway I don't wanna get to deep into deciphering this dream because you'll get offended. But I will tell you this: get out more...
Submission Name: Is it a Sin?
