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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sapphyreravyn
    ASL Info:    16/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.45 - 3/15/21
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 189
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some just don't understand
    The feeling is overwhelming.
    You feel it in your skin
    It's like a tingle
    That triggers your mind
    And it doesn't stop.
    You think about it
    All the time.
    It consumes
    Your every thought
    Till you finally give in
    You get something sharp
    Anything will do.
    Pressing it to your skin
    Already the tingles fade.
    You slice
    It feels good
    Sometimes you cry
    Not in pain.
    Sometime you laugh.
    After it's over
    You are left empty.




    Submitted on 2008-07-19 07:49:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sometimes simple is good, and I think this poem conveys what it needs to concisely but completely. I can feel the rushed emotion of the narrator in the simple but (pardon the pun) cutting words.
    Some of the lines don't work, I do have to say. For example, "It feels good" and "you think about it all the time" both could be said in a more interesting way. But the ending is very strong. After the poem is over, you are left empty.
    I think it might be more effective if the narrator adressed a "you" in the first line. (You just don't understand).
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by LunaMoth | [ Reply to This ]
      this is way too short and way too simple to ever convey anything important.

    I dont want to come off like a [censored]. But first of all, I dont like the subject matter but aside from that, looking at the poem objectively, it doesnt offer much.
    | Posted on 2008-07-21 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      blood no guts. what else.? poe
    | Posted on 2008-07-19 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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