Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 718
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1008



    Description:
       a song for my girlfriend.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was standing tall and proud
    had no fear of falling down
    said I'd never love again
    back before my world came crashing in

    Now I'm falling down on my knees
    yes I'm falling begging please, baby please
    don't take your love from me

    I was a shadow, I walked alone
    I had nobody to call my own
    I was content to never love again
    with your smile the sun came shining in

    now I'm falling down on my knees
    yes I'm falling begging please, baby please
    don't take your love from me

    I'm so afraid, terrified
    still I'm here, trembling inside

    and I'm falling down on my knees
    yes I'm falling begging please, baby please
    don't take your love from me

    still I'm falling down on my knees
    yes I'm falling begging please, baby please
    don't take your love from me




    Submitted on 2008-07-19 08:51:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I see the pain in the write. I'm not sure how much this poem took out of you, however I do see that this poem is one that does follow your life story VERY closely.

    The imagery portrait is great. The style is unusual. The flow is well written.
    | Posted on 2008-09-15 00:00:00 | by augustcranes | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great! Your imagery describing first how you were content being alone, but now how love has taken over, and it's scary.

    Sometimes you don't realize what your missing, but when you fall in love, it's amazing and scary at the same time. This was portrayed very well.

    The flow worked very well!!
    | Posted on 2008-07-19 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      you speaking for feelings that has taken away from you. the love for this person has left you for no reason. Good piece. check out my page
    | Posted on 2008-07-19 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163821

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry