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    dots Submission Name: hear me slowlydots

    Author: discombobulated
    ASL Info:    26/m/nz
    Elite Ratio:    5.22 - 81/63/24
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/What is
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 358

       one of three i wrote last night while listening to the finalists at this poetry slam i attended. it was all very inspirational, it was.

    read this slowly.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshear me slowlydots

    i might
    argue this
    mentioned about
    girl guides and
    boy scouts
    for reason
    and rimbaud
    perhaps neruda
    singing sonnets
    of despair
    and sure ink
    over moments
    of me
    and i
    and ocean

    Submitted on 2008-07-20 07:36:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it was awkward's 'waiting' poem that sent me into neruda overdrive... funny how a line in one poem can have so much influence and direct you on a journey of deep discovery. and here you are
    unearthing neruda for me again. along with
    Arthur Rimbaud (now he has been pretty influential has he not) so i am in good company!
    i must also confess to raising a huge smile at the incongruous mention of lord baden powell's lads in the same breath.

    so .. this came to you as the poetry of the finalists washed over you. over you and i and ocean.
    i wonder if they had any idea. (were you one of the judges?)

    i did as i was told and read your words very slowly. my first impressions ..after the broad smile at finding girl guides rubbing shoulders with arthur and pablo.. i guessed you were not all that impressed with the offerings of the finalists....and might prefer to be under the ocean.

    | Posted on 2008-08-12 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think this plans to have meaning, just an essence. It's direct and bold and it demands(mostly I just get this from reading it slowly) that it is important for the simple reason of existence. I like the idea. It's sexy.
    | Posted on 2008-08-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Since the requested commentary is first impressions.

    I like reading it though I can not find any meaning in it.
    For just pure aesthetics, I'm all for it. For meaning, I'm lost.

    I get a feeling of expansiveness when I read it. Maybe it's the ocean at the end. No idea.

    I found the people searching for "reason/and rimbaud/perhaps neruda" interesting because, to me, those three are quite different from one another. I'm not sure. I don't know if that's what's inconsistent or if you intend the idea of scouts/guides searching for them inconsistent.

    Maybe I'm taking this too literally, or not literally enough.

    That's more of less what went through my mind on the first read.
    | Posted on 2008-08-04 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      nice job here. i like the incongruity of scouts and neruda. a fave.
    | Posted on 2008-07-26 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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