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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Referral piece 3dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lord Bane
    ASL Info:    24/M/Isle of Wight, UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 40/81/50
    Words: 331
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1017
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1831



    Description:
       part 3 (and hopefully final bits I need to do)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReferral piece 3dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Moment of Dark
    The botanical garden, filled with colour by day, became a much different place as we walked around it that night. Robbed of sunshine and with the streetlights at too great a distance, a sense of foreboding filled the air. Torchlight was our only light source, making it easy to imagine that the gardens were filled with ghosts, Even harmless objects like trees could loom out of the darkness without warning. The men in costumes were not needed, the shadows of the night alone caused more fear than any Haloween mask could. The fear was of what you could not see, not what you could.
    As the torches switched on we set off into the forbidding shadows that shrouded the garden, our group forming a tiny pool of light within the park. Our guide explained the legends of the area, taking us past the remains of a long lost hospital. As we stood next to the low building that guarded the entrance to the old morgue a shiver ran down all our spines. The staircase that led to the morgue went down far enough that no light could reveal its hidden entrance, adding to the ominous atmosphere. However, even the old tunnel in the hillside nearby was not as terrifying as one walkway at the very back of the garden.
    We were told a story which said that a presence was known to walk along there and that people had complained of the sensation of being pushed as they walked along that path. Most of the group did not scare easily but there was a disturbing sensation as we walked. This was then heightened when one of the group complained that he had been pushed, even though he was at the back and no-one was anywhere nearby. At that point we all decided to move on, no longer feeling comfortable where we were stood. While it was an enjoyable experience, few of us were disappointed when it finally ended.




    Submitted on 2008-07-20 21:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i have read all three of these, and first off, fell in love. i like how they're all different...and yet you can tell that they are all part of a piece. the writing style in each varies, but i can still hear your voice. i tried to pick a favorite, but every time i did, another one would pop into my head. at first i said, oh, the first is my favorite because i like the girl. i like visiting new places and seeing things others have not seen the whole time living there. Then i thought of the second one, and the silly humor, and said, for sure that is my favorite piece. but just now, re reading the third one, i have to say that i cannot pick a favorite. this third one was more...honest, shorter, and read like a journal entry.

    and it's funny, while reading, i picked out little points to critique, little annoyances that i found during my journey from piece to piece, and now that i've read them all, i've completely forgot what i was going to say. and i have gone back to find what i would suggest needed work, and it's like it's all disappeared.

    i think you've done a fabulous job.
    you got me lost in this world for a bit.
    that's what i like to feel when i read.

    ~kryslee~
    | Posted on 2008-07-24 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



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