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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Few wordz from my souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TwistedMinded
    ASL Info:    23/m/San Diego
    Elite Ratio:    1.74 - 82/109/32
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Serious
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 860



    Description:
       Some lyricz that i know you can relate to, i relate to, because is something we all question and go by.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFew wordz from my souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    we live a life of misery filled with anger and pain -
    and its hard to maintain, and its killing my brain - i know you feel the same - im thinking to hard, im trying to retain but i feel like fuck it - jump in front of a train - say goodbye to world and remain in peace, but ill hurt to many, specially my family - god wont forgive me if i take my life so i gotta fight to survive and hope for the best, i see light in sight -
    see the worse was left behind and i never look back - i see a better future for myself - but how far will i get - a million dollars aint shit - money aint shit - miserable and lonely - fuck that - i rather live check by check, earn my shit with pride, is all i have - in behave of me - i want say fuck that - just barrie me with a bottle and cigaret - keep your head cause life is just a struggle and thats just it.




    Submitted on 2008-07-21 02:00:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ...I don't ever really feel like this. Even in my bad times, I'm not one to jump in front of a train.

    I'll just get it out the way that I don't really like this piece. The way it's written doesn't make sense to me, I can't see it as a song, it doesn't really have rhythm, and I think the source material is too muddled to get a consistent point across. Frequent spelling errors just kind of took me out of the mood of the poem. It almost made it comical, which I'm not sure is correct, what with leaping front of locomotives and what-not. This really needs some work to be a complete piece.

    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2008-08-14 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      nice... it's been a while since you've posted anything anyways. but i like it. it fits the mood i'm in right now
    | Posted on 2008-07-23 00:00:00 | by babygirl09 | [ Reply to This ]
      you are showing how you feel and giving the reader full strength as you look into the inner expression. keep writing. check out my page
    | Posted on 2008-07-21 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


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    163866

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