Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the soul playdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: afullmetalwar
    Elite Ratio:    1.49 - 6/22/26
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 63
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 912



    Description:
       Standard DADT policy
    (don't ask, don't tell)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe soul playdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A burning flame,
    a fading hope,
    two souls
    no one wants
    are together.

    With the night ending,
    they are forced to talk,
    and nothing to stop,
    the only watcher
    is a cat.

    words are said,
    words were yelled,
    the cat sits
    and watches
    it all play out.

    Players on a stage
    is what we all are,
    but on this stage
    there are no actors
    just hurt souls

    Looking forever
    inside itself,
    One has to put up barriers
    To keep both safe
    and the other just left.

    The cat still watches,
    as the anger builds up,
    and the other just sits
    and takes it,
    and say not a word.

    The cat leaves,
    the one follows,
    doors slam,
    glass breaks,
    and the cat still watches.




    Submitted on 2008-07-22 18:58:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very dark. real deep. so emotions are shown in this piece. you putting what you feel. keep writing
    | Posted on 2008-07-23 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163911



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry