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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Injury Timedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 346



    Description:
       This is first poem that I've ever written in England. I'm actually happy as a lark; I was just watching a gonzo movie last night that inspired it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInjury Timedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your words injure me
    at the point
    where my psychic wounds
    converge into a massive keloid
    only to ensure additional scarring
    bigger than the mass of original damage,
    however the pain is less
    there than a trauma.
    I'm getting tougher
    though it remains invisible to all.




    Submitted on 2004-07-05 05:59:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i loved the 3rd and 4th lines, yea, deep, i liked this piece, i think you were very expressive, this was a good write. - latykim
    | Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by latykim | [ Reply to This ]
      * about a sword

    * jist = gist

    I hate being unclear in my comments. Sorry about that. I am glad you are finding your muse in England.
    | Posted on 2004-07-07 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      I just envisioned this big baseball sized mass of tissue and wrinkled my nose. This piece is not as beautiful as some of your others but it's point is well made. (Sort of like the poem you have a sword with hardened metal. I remember the jist of the poem but not the title.)

    I like the whole idea of being hardened and becoming immune to the pain people inflict about us. Myself, I am too sensitive for my own good but am growing a tougher skin.
    | Posted on 2004-07-07 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like you are stronger than you think, despite the scarring and damage inside. what is a keloid? psychic pain can do so much damage, and you described it so well in so little space (as usual!)..
    | Posted on 2004-07-06 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      However the pain is less
    There than a trauma
    ...ehh...that was kinda hard to grasp.

    I love the speech of psychic pain though, i can definitely belly the right interpretation. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words pierce right through me if they are from a certain someone...
    MyX
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting poem, interesting theory. The last line,
    "though it remains invisible to all"
    reminds me of how I feel about so many in the world, walking wounded, wouldn't let you know.
    The line breaks, as Lea pointed out, excellent. I wish I could sense those things. The alliteration between the th sounds and hard t sounds in the last few lines was nice.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      The story I imagine around this text is it being a quick note left by someone who's in a hurry, but has too much going on inside not to let it out someway. It's got this feeling of let-go and giving up, so I don't agree with Lea...I think it finishes with a fade out rather than a liberation.
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent vocab, love.. Keloid is a brilliant choice, although I normally associate it with Ringworm.. so now I associate YOU with Ringworm!

    Err, is that good or bad?! Dunno, lol!

    I like the enjambment you use to create this line "There than a trauma".. the Ts sound very well there, beginning hard and ending softly, it is these little nuances that really make a piece, isn't it?

    The pain there is less than a trauma... as if to say, despite all this sh.it that has been heaped on me.. I'm alright, despite the massive reservoir of pain inside me, I'm getting so strong now that it's less than a scratch... this is a positive and affirming write wreathed in that purply-red snarl of scar tissue...
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like the speaker is caught in a bad relationship with many fights but still doesn't leave. well, you make my thoughts run wild. I love that. your word choice was really good here (I learned a new word - had to look up keloid ). and the title is great. very good piece.
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      and agian i say it amazing how you can portay so much emotion without even feeling it at the time...its good to know you still write just as good in england...i personally have a hard time with that sometimes but anywho my mindless babble...very nice write as always...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Mental toughness is invisible. Keloids are cheloids, a Greek word for thick scar formations. I know that a lark is a bird, but I don't know any more about them than that. I think that emotional cheloids are like camoflouge in a place like London. Maybe not. Be sure to take a drive up to Hadrian's wall and write a poem about fighting the Picts. Or something about how Boadicea is still alive. You could do that for me. I know you can.
    | Posted on 2004-07-12 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]


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