Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A True Story Though!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Joachim
    ASL Info:    71 Male RSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.6 - 133/101/70
    Words: 55
    Class/Type: Story/Passion
    Total Views: 61
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 247



    Description:
       The poem about "Jack and Jill" fits nicely in this one - apologies to the original poet! Joachim.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA True Story Though!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A True Story Though!

    Adam and Eve
    went up the “Hill”
    To fetch
    “The Pail of Water”
    Eve Fell down
    and Broke her “Crown”
    and Adam?
    came “Stumbling” after.




    Submitted on 2008-07-24 07:27:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      interesting that you call this both story and passion.

    it would be so easy to read this and dismiss it right away but you are onto something. you have inserted "words" that are more than just words... theyre symbols and codes for much more.
    im especially attracted to the crown and stumbling... very well done.
    | Posted on 2008-07-24 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163941



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry