[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sanddots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1062


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I couldn’t stop for a moment to
    appreciate the white simplicity of marble -
    What beautiful hands, so inhuman,
    So painful to sculpt -
    A hammer into your eyelids:
    From unseeing -
    To black clean holes for mirrors.

    And then the statues carved in bronze -
    Such huge feet and faces, intrepidly distorted
    Perversion, attractive, committing suicide
    On a bridge to the receptive river.

    When two black plaits of Styx
    And claustrophobic Nile
    Find their way into sand,

    No precise place for grave -

    Either to be discovered by two sticks
    Or lash out against the houses
    Tornado-like in hum-drum pity.

    Sand is the greatest peace treaty -
    Better that the Code of Hammurabi:
    A bloody blister on my foot
    Into the gentle substance

    - I walk away -

    And leave a vine already growing.

    Submitted on 2008-07-26 11:17:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      reminds me of this time i ended up at this artist girl's house after a party.

    she had a lot of bronze statues. mostly phallic stuff.
    | Posted on 2008-08-08 00:00:00 | by Boosky | [ Reply to This ]
      your poem is so emotional driven. i feel alot in this poem. it's so natural. you say things from the heart. great piece. Bravo!!!!
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]
      Sand appears very much to be the barrier between a variety of opposing forces (life and death/community and individuality/activity and inertia), but it especially addresses the mysteries of the former pair. The passage of death over the river Styx, the essence of life in the ancient Nile, the Biblical command that the shoreline should mark the furthest boundary of the sea. Things that both marble and bronze cannot experience, but humans know every time they have an injury; the barrier is thin and life is fragile.

    That's my babble for this morning. Take care.

    | Posted on 2008-07-26 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]