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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: tearing the walls downdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 283
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 601
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1906



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstearing the walls downdots
    -------------------------------------------


    when i awoke from one dream
    it simply led me into another,
    same chambers,
    different drawers.
    the joy i found in hop scotch
    tasted of candy
    on your far away tongue.
    were we well written,
    or was it just a joke
    one plays on another
    to get a giggle
    or a crayon
    stuck in their hair?

    could it be a poem
    that i wrote onto a napkin
    & placed melting correctly
    into your appropriate ear?
    or was that a horseshoe
    all wrapped up like christmas,
    minus the blood
    or, perhaps,
    because of it?
    i love more than i can gamble
    so i fill your room with music
    that surrounds you like a halo
    around your bed.
    i can't seem to find the words
    to describe something breaking
    unless i live it.

    will i dissolve
    the figments of my flesh
    into the flowers
    while i can
    if i must?
    or is the musk of satan
    just a myth...
    let live be?

    the words get whited out
    as is not
    as will...

    all these paper tigers
    you left at my feet
    are biting worse
    than your dogs.
    but the way that you come at me
    like ambrosia steel & turquoise,
    you're so beautiful.
    but i could be blind
    & still stack the cards wrong,
    parallel to the line
    of your cheekbone
    where my lips could be.

    so let's play a game
    that involves living.
    i'll trade you my heart
    for your heart
    & whomever can render
    the most accurate representation
    of a miracle
    can take it or leave it
    until one of us dies.
    or at least lives long enough
    to tear the walls down
    from the inside.




    Submitted on 2008-07-26 13:56:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is where i arrived at your page in the first place. because i spotted that it had been made a favourite and i was curious.

    after contemplating this, i remained intrigued, and so i came back.

    this poem wins on several fronts.
    it is well constructed and beautifully worded and it also hits on a very much missed intimate theme.

    it is a very intelligent piece of writing, which definitely appeals to me. you have touched on a very relevant point. there are so many couples that limit their loving relationships because they are reluctant to remove the many protective walls they have built around themselves. many will not risk doing so for fear of losing what they have got.

    i would prefer to be loved by a lover loving me regardless of my faults failings and knowing all the dark secrets of my past.

    however,

    i have seen this from both sides, so would never judge anyone from holding back information from someone they loved; especially if it avoids hurting them.

    i like that you have encouraged me to think awhile here.

    J


    | Posted on 2009-02-21 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it when I get to be first. It seams meandering at first but there is the blessing of sharing physical love designed in a tasteful way. I don't mean it's tame, it's just not erotic because the theme of the poem doesn't warrant that kind of meaning.

    It does arrive as a surprise, funny, I read the title and didn't notice until it was all over. I love a surprise too.

    I suppose I'm giggly about love in all the same ways two lovers are.

    But you strike the chord so accurately , it is about learning to love more and tearing down walls so that we can.

    Beautiful, I wouldn't change a word!

    Nan
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]


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