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    dots Submission Name: colddots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 838


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    sitting and staring,
    the walls fade away
    into nothingness,
    the shadows become light.

    my insides become ice,
    my mind becomes a fire
    of thought and dreams
    so distant they are blurred.

    the world disappears,
    everything is lost
    and all that exists
    is within my mind.

    an intruder appears,
    emotion infects the cold
    and I see you here
    smiling at me.

    surprised and shocked,
    confused and ecstatic
    I grasp at this thought
    and smile back.

    noone has ever been here
    in my mind and prison
    of pain and sadness.

    warming inside,
    I can't imagine
    how you could do such
    a truly wonderful thing.

    Submitted on 2008-07-27 01:55:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      dude i really like this poem.I like how you can go to your mind prison like and i like the end when some one comes in. i digg the words and this poem reminds me of that one episode of night gallery called silent snow secret snow.

    its very kool

    rip n rot
    | Posted on 2009-03-12 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one heck of a Great write my Friend where you touch deeply on the deep pain of lonliness
    I was there for so long with noone at all so I know exactly of the feelings and the pain you describe
    Great Job with this!!!!!!
    I will definately be reading more and commenting on more of your writes
    I enjoy your writing style
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2008-10-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job here. I like this. First the despair and then hope at the end. My one suggestion would be delete the unnecessary words. The style here lends itslef to minimalism, and anything extra detracts from that.

    Peace, love and all that other junk,

    | Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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