Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Target Condition Unreachabledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sheakhan
    ASL Info:    22/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.66 - 167/183/82
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 152
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 663



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTarget Condition Unreachabledots
    -------------------------------------------


    I heard that destiny calls in the middle of life
    when you've finally cashed in your chips,
    Like a too-late figment of a potential path
    that you've already meandered past.

    I guess the hard part about that is knowing that
    even then, it is all just a lie.
    Hopeful dreams abound in the mind of the desperate
    who just want what they never had out of life.

    Well, vitality wanes
    just as cigarettes burn
    to the filter
    the fingers
    the end.

    But nothing will measure
    up to the dreams
    that flicker
    and fade,
    then go black.




    Submitted on 2008-07-27 14:26:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i remember my mom when she turned forty, both her parents had passed on, and she was in the strangest mode. she opened up a car detailing shop, changed careers, bought a motorcycle, and gave up starches. It lasted a month until she went down hill and the detailing shop went bankrupt, she sold her precious bike to hep pay for the shop, she ate potatoes alone watching Y&R, and the only that she kept was the new job at the hospital. She started a new life.

    This was the rambling recollection, my response to the piece. I dont think it aims at only midlife, but that crisis of self, when you are starting something new and leaving the familair behind.

    I've just re-read it again. The image of the cigarette being burnt out creates a negative spin to the piece, something near death. it is final. and happens quick.

    this piece is about giving up.

    we all suffer that moment and hopefully a few people take back whatever it was that they lost.

    Ash
    | Posted on 2008-09-11 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      Gosh, you have really put mid-life crisis in its proper aspect. Businesses and corporations have long tried to deal with this universal worker problem . The crisis comes between the ages of 43 to 55. it is a natural phenomenon. It seems to be the age in which a person rethinks his/her status in life. It usually comes into contest by those who are dissatisfied with their job or its nonsensitiveness to employee as being an important part of the workplace.
    Thanks for the instruction.
    | Posted on 2008-09-10 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164034



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry