[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Seeing Through the Facedots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 847
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1085

       This is almost different from things I usually write.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeeing Through the Facedots

    We can see a face, backwards
    A parallel version of arrogance
    Could he be more humble we would see intelligence

    I used a hammer to force the glass from its frame
    There was a small cut to show for it
    But even more was the new picture that was received
    And marveled by all

    Inside the frame there was a fish
    There was a feathered old wise grandfather
    Grilling in the heat of Texas
    There was
    Dark hair

    Holding himself in his own hands his eyes seduce
    Magic seeps from his pupils and the new perspective transforms all notion of
    A garden of forests sullenly sitting on his shoulders
    Dark green and emerald to enlighten his sight

    There is no way to tell the sincerity of the rising sun
    It would be wholly wonderful to know that this day is just as wonderful as the night

    I could climb a mountain today
    Or swim a very large sea

    Submitted on 2008-07-27 17:24:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "I could climb a mountain today
    Or swim a very large sea"

    your ending here was perfect in that way that inspires and makes one feel like doing these things too... too bad it's rain and rain and endless rain here, but anyway.

    this poem is surreal, yet anchored, and is a joy to read out loud. you should, you know, read this out live one day.

    | Posted on 2008-07-29 00:00:00 | by discombobulated | [ Reply to This ]
      Although it took me a few times to read this to "understand it", I enjoyed it all the way. I say "understand it", with a timid falsetto of words trying to convey that I understand what you have going on inside your brain. This to me, was written like three different poems. All three deep enough to show me hidden meanings that I was failing to see in my own existence. My "understanding" of this piece comes from an appreciation of the artistic frame that this is wrapped in. Not that you could ever know that this piece could reach far beyond what you intended for it's meaning...maybe you did, I'm not sure; just know that this poem unlocked a door in my brain that was rusted over and keyless. Congrats, this was a beautiful piece and I thank you for sharing this. I'm not sure how much weight this statement has to with you, but this is the first and so far only, favorite I have added to my page. Thanks again, keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2008-07-29 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]