[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: a Grain of Eternity!dots

    Author: Joachim
    ASL Info:    75 Male RSA
    Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 361/264/178
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 1187
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 763

       Just a little of of me. Joachim

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa Grain of Eternity!dots

    My Soul a Grain of Eternity!
    From a Grain of Sand to Endless Wastes
    My Soul is a Grain of Eternity cloaked in Obscurity
    Sharing the Agelessness of our Universe.
    At Peace!

    My desert is shaped by the Winds of my Soul
    This bareness this barrenness
    Contoured with gentle caress by Winds of Love
    Splendid in its Arraignment the Dune a grain of Sand
    Sealed by the 7 Rays of a Golden Dawn
    This Nomad is at Peace
    Blessed Be Eternity!

    To Heavens Peak we stretch caressing
    With Loving Gentle Touch to Reach
    The Heart of The Child who holds
    This Grain of Sand in His hand!
    The Blessing!
    My Soul is at Rest.

    Submitted on 2008-07-28 17:08:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice. This leads me back somewhat to a favorite of mine:

    And in the million-millionth of a grain
    Which cleft and cleft again for evermore,
    And ever vanishing, never vanishes,

    From ‘The Ancient Sage’
    By Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809–1892)

    | Posted on 2010-11-23 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Infinitesimally minute and minuscule , yep that's me . Yet it doesn't seem to bring me the peace and tranquility it brings you . I find myself considering asking God to allow me to be one of the four horseman of the apocalypse . There is too much bad in this world for me to find peace in contemplation . I guess I'm just not cut out to be epicurean . Seriously it's to much of a debacle debauchery down here for me to be able to feign self satisfaction , and although you asked for general advice from me , I ask you , how can you be so peaceful about it .
    | Posted on 2010-03-01 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      What an elogquent, profound work of art this is... the second stanza is by far my favorite and I love the imagery that is evoked through the gentle use of words and descriptions...
    brilliant writing....
    | Posted on 2009-11-03 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      It is good to tell the young folk where the brave can get to! It's a service to everybody.

    Your language is very direct, and yet it is a language of mythical imagery. You remind me of Blake ... whom the British middle class took to be a naive artist and a borderline nut case, but who was actually a master of a specialist craft, and also one of the poets who has been most studied and enjoyed by poets in English.

    If we mention symbolism from an established system, then most readers don't know the system, so that we have to make sure the lines have self-evident meaning. The "7 rays" line might not mean a lot to most readers... etc ...

    But all the same, I am quite sure that a poem has to satisfy the poet first! For the appeal of devotional art comes from the artists' love for the imagery and stories of their spirituality.

    I have been reading about Gnosticism, and having difficulty understanding gnosis itself. But you made a few connections for me, with this poem and some of your others: you helped me to find some meaning and excitement in a study that was striking me as dead dry! But scholars are not usually poets, eh?
    | Posted on 2009-06-28 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the foreverness of this piece... the contentment and the peace that is to be found in every stanza...
    its kinda like a "ive run the race/fought the fight" contentment [not that im suggesting you are writing of your death or anything]

    i like the 'whole world in his hands' feel to this piece too... its just so secure in the knowledge of who you are and who you belong to no matter how small and insignificant and fleeting your existance seems to be "in the grand scheme of things"

    | Posted on 2008-07-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]