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Lip of the Grave

Author: MC white
ASL Info:    20/Male/Ohio
Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 71 /73 /45
Words: 87
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 919
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 555


it's pretty much as close to rap as I get. love it when I feel a beat.

Lip of the Grave

Allow ME to reminisce
about the life I lead
from the lip of the grave
before I R.I.P
and jump in
just give in
and let the current take me
like a friend
and I sin
almost as much as I breathe

but it only adds up
if you take time to count
so I red-line this bitch
before the devil finds out
that I'm sittin here,
waitin here,
wishin I could feel the fear

take another breath
let it out
just another year

Submitted on 2008-07-29 03:24:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  "but it only adds up
if you take time to count
so I red-line this [censored]
before the devil finds out"

How about:

"but it only adds up
if you take time to count
so I red-line this [censored]
before the devil found out"

Works better with the flow and context by changing "finds" to "found"

Very well written, i felt everything. this was by the way my favorite stanza


| Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
  very nice....that was deep "wishin I could feel the fear" i think I know exactly what you mean
| Posted on 2008-07-29 00:00:00 | by buryingthepast | [ Reply to This ]
  the ending statement is [censored] amazing!
| Posted on 2008-07-29 00:00:00 | by SoftOrangeGlow | [ Reply to This ]

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