Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sadness and Sorrowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: essence of life
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 33/38/21
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 369



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSadness and Sorrowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm Drowning In An Ocean Of My Own Tears.

    My Sadness Is Unmatched And Never Ending.

    My Sorrow Is Unseen And Just Beginning.

    These Feelings Are Familiar Too All But If It Was A

    Contest I Think I Win Hands Down.

    Drowning In My Tears Of Never Ending Sadness And Long-lasting Sorrow.




    Submitted on 2008-07-30 16:30:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      As I read your work,
    I can tell you like to play with words.
    although this poem to me,
    looks like your trying to write a song.


    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      Depressed.

    The first thing, and possibly the only really important thing is this: Sadness = Sorrow, Sorrow= Sadness.

    With that said, we can deduce that:
    Title = Redundant
    Poem = Redundant.

    Essentially, all I'm getting here is your repetition of the same tired expression of sadness that I've heard a half-trillion times.

    Try breaking free of the box, expressing yourself without rehashing everything you've ever heard before.

    This piece expresses your sadness wonderfully, but it doesn't catch my attention.

    Try doing something different.

    I think you're capable.

    ~Keegan
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]
      ok hun it good. but like carry said you need to address the structure. get rid of all the capital letters. your repeating yourself aswell hun. just let it flow it sounded forced. just relax and think it over xxx
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by broken heart | [ Reply to This ]
      And you say your happy?

    SUURE.

    Overall I think you should run throught this and fix the structure.

    I like the concept though!


    *huggles*
    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164131

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry