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    dots Submission Name: Sadness and Sorrowdots

    Author: essence of life
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 33/38/21
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 369


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSadness and Sorrowdots

    I'm Drowning In An Ocean Of My Own Tears.

    My Sadness Is Unmatched And Never Ending.

    My Sorrow Is Unseen And Just Beginning.

    These Feelings Are Familiar Too All But If It Was A

    Contest I Think I Win Hands Down.

    Drowning In My Tears Of Never Ending Sadness And Long-lasting Sorrow.

    Submitted on 2008-07-30 16:30:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      As I read your work,
    I can tell you like to play with words.
    although this poem to me,
    looks like your trying to write a song.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

    The first thing, and possibly the only really important thing is this: Sadness = Sorrow, Sorrow= Sadness.

    With that said, we can deduce that:
    Title = Redundant
    Poem = Redundant.

    Essentially, all I'm getting here is your repetition of the same tired expression of sadness that I've heard a half-trillion times.

    Try breaking free of the box, expressing yourself without rehashing everything you've ever heard before.

    This piece expresses your sadness wonderfully, but it doesn't catch my attention.

    Try doing something different.

    I think you're capable.

    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by Sheakhan | [ Reply to This ]
      ok hun it good. but like carry said you need to address the structure. get rid of all the capital letters. your repeating yourself aswell hun. just let it flow it sounded forced. just relax and think it over xxx
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by broken heart | [ Reply to This ]
      And you say your happy?


    Overall I think you should run throught this and fix the structure.

    I like the concept though!

    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]

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