Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Cocainedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MmR
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 468/442/138
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 937
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Cocainedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I found you sitting
    at the bottom of the staircase crying,
    Smoke rising from your hand…
    Yellow drizzled nicotine depression
    You won’t let me understand.
    Subtle flashes of yesterday
    Have become your white cocaine.
    So I wrapped my arms around you,
    And fed the addiction of your pain.
    You began to scream my name,
    But you wouldn’t let me in…
    And secretly I began to wonder
    If my heart could take
    Being your part time rehab again…




    Submitted on 2008-07-31 03:10:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you need me, but you won't let me in...

    i can't fix you, yet you scream my name...Help me Help me...yes, the metaphor here is quite good....

    the speaker is his addiction. the problem is that he is not okay by himself. and the speaker understands this...feels an obligation to be there, yet wants him to be okay on his own...she doesn't want to be just his drug...she wants him to stand on his own....she wants a relationship that goes both ways...he is draining his supply (her)---

    masterful use of the white snow---

    don't let him have another hit...wean him off...he needs to be okay without you, so that he might have a chance to be okay with you....an unhealthy relationship for sure.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-09-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is fantastic, the metaphor you've developed for this poem. So true too, thinking of how we might become addicted to many things that can be just as damaging as narcotics. It can be hard for both parties- the able body not wanting to walk away and getting hurt in the process of trying to bring comfort or healing. Much enjoyed reading.
    | Posted on 2012-09-13 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      Love...... That's all I can say!!

    ~Sara
    | Posted on 2010-04-06 00:00:00 | by WhoKnows | [ Reply to This ]
      my response to this piece comes in the form of a song:





    i guess you can only be rehab if the person wants to get better... you know?
    otherwise you get all strung out and stressed trying to fix them when theyre not actually doing anything about it themselves.
    but its hard to be able to stand back and let people do their own thing... its hard to not allow yourself to get caught up in their addiction... hard not to water their wounds and encourage their self pity...

    i think its progressive that you recognize this situation and wonder whether you want to find yourself in it once more...

    stay safe doll.
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow! being your part time rehab again....

    i know a guy who thinks of me like that....and i guess it's more hard on him than it is on me...i like being the way i am...i like needing rehab *not real rehab* but i guess it is hard for the people that are trying to help you, the people that believe you actually want help, the people that are really there for you. or the person that loves you.

    anyway, the beginning of the piece sets a great background. sitting at the bottom of the stairs in what i imagine as a ghetto apt. complex...

    i could picture me the whole time, and my...well my imaginary friend coming to pick me up again....

    i loved this piece.

    that's all i really have to say.
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164154

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry