I sit and wonder what my life has become.
I'm full of joy on the outside
but my body has become numb.
Not with depression or anxiety but with a pain that is so real.
In 2006, was diagnosed with a disease that even your worst enemy would hate to feel.
Doctor's say one thing and you read another and in the back of your mind
it makes you wonder.
Not wonder about what you heard or read but about how you feel from day to day knowing that the pain is not all in your head.
The best way to explain would be the single word, ouch,
it echos in my head, eveytime I lie down to go to bed.
Because I know the next day will bring thrills and new pills and deeper pains I feel
but does what I feel have to be so real?
I often ponder on the days when I was best and say, wow, look at this mess.
The mess you caused because you took advantage of your youth,
you jacked it around eating things of no use.
Can't take it back now,
but can look forward to being medicated
just to gain an ounce.
Who knows what I feel,
the pain thats so real,
that hides in my stomach, only for me to feel, because what I feel is real. |
Submission Name: What I Feel
