Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Buttercupdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 451
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 834



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsButtercupdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You don't use commas
    when you write back to me
    so-- there's no pause in thought,
    like it's right back to me,
    some times it just hurts
    like a knife slash through me,
    am I so disposable?
    Is it like that, truly?
    Am I so opposable?
    Or despite that-- you see,
    something inside of me,
    that you fight that-- feud me?
    And then decide that, use me
    til' I"m used up to my fill.
    Butter me up,
    Buttercup spruced up with pills
    yeah... sure...
    first acknowledgement is tolerant,
    but he doesn't care, just as long,
    as you follow him...

    But not me, I'm for real,
    when I say that it's not right,
    I know-- I put up fašades,
    but not tonight...




    Submitted on 2008-07-31 17:31:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it,
    Especially 'butter me up buttercup...." I'm probably reading that with the wrong pauses, but it reminds me of a song.
    I also like that you put the right kind of š in fašade, you don't see that much. surpised me a little,
    11th line from the bottom I'm has a double quotation mark in it. no big deal just being anal. lol
    Vynom
    | Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164167

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Cover written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    AI written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Love written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry