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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Questions For A Bumdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: popular_myth
    ASL Info:    23/f/sp
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 26/32/19
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 53
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1197



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsQuestions For A Bumdots
    -------------------------------------------



    A man sits on a curb,
    Bandages on his feet
    Reading the news-paper.
    Why?

    What interest could he possibly have in this world?

    His hairs’ long, grey,
    With flecks of brown,
    His dirty beard, un-kept and matted.
    How old is that beard?

    What stories would his beard tell if it could talk?

    He sits calmly,
    Unaware of my stare,
    A placid grin on his face.
    Do I ever smile like that?

    His leathery skin
    Clings to his bones,
    His hollow cheeks make his lips protrude.
    Was he ever handsome?

    What words of profound wisdom could those lips tell me?

    I slow down,
    Bend down,
    Catch his eye.
    What do I say?:

    I pretend to scratch my foot,
    Where the plastic of my flip-flop
    Irritates the skin.

    Will he still be here later? Will I?

    I just smile at him and walk away,

    Did I see the world in his eyes?


















    Submitted on 2008-08-01 12:38:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What interest could he possibly have in this world?

    When his own world seems to be just as messed up as ours..maybe more so.

    honestly i can't figure out what kind of writing advice you want for this piece...
    the only thing i could possibly comment about is the differences in stanza lengths right before a question is asked. it wouldn't make any difference, but maybe making them even would...
    i don't know, be more aesthetically pleasing.

    His hairs’ long, grey,
    With flecks of brown,
    His dirty beard, un-kept and matted.
    How old is that beard?

    What stories would his beard tell if it could talk?

    that was my favorite part.
    i'm sure they'd be great stories.
    the kind that make you cry...
    even if they're not sad...
    but they're mostly sad.

    anyway, great write.
    | Posted on 2008-08-01 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]


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