[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: for steven, my chickadeedots

    Author: was_i_ever_real
    ASL Info:    23 _ f _ tx
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 194/91/52
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1321

       Funny thing, I met my...well I can't call him my best friend, but...that's the closest thing I guess you could call him. They haven't made a word for what he is. He is my chickadee. Well anyway, I met him at a football game in high school. I offered him popcorn. He said no. I went back to my friends. A couple months later, my boyfriend introduced me to him again. Turns out, he was my boyfriend's brother's best friend. I didn't remember him. He remembered me.
    He threw me my first birthday party. With princess hats and a pinata and candy and...it was wonderful.
    We went to the bodies human exhibit downtown. We...
    he fell in love with me. and told my boyfriend (who at the time was my fiance...and who is now my husband)
    and i haven't talked to him since.

    now he is only steven.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfor steven, my chickadeedots

    The dust flew into the air,
    and stung our eyes...and we looked back to see
    who jumped farther.
    It came as no surprise to see myself two steps behind. Just when I begin to hope, you make things harder.

    So tell me that you're happy. Or at least lie, but make it pretty...
    something i can believe

    We walked all around those dead bodies at that exhibit downtown, and your silence whispered you loved me. You thought I was sad, but I loved the show. I just don't always know how to carry myself. I'm sorry.

    By the way, I love that notebook you gave me.
    The one I've never written in.
    It reminds me how I've failed again...

    It's been a year or two...I remember our adventures as something I read. At that moment, my life, and now that they're over, I'm reading something else instead.


    I still have your notebook,
    I finally wrote in it.
    The cover reads:
    Love Ruins Friendships.

    And I'll never admit it, but I just want to jump off those swings with you again. Have the dust in our eyes and only be two steps behind.

    As opposed to being

    Submitted on 2008-08-01 17:30:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I read this last night... but was way too tired to comment on something so absolutely emotionally heart baring. I mean... I want to comment on the description as well as the poem (which was written well). You have a way with telling stories with words...whether its poetry or prose, you can command attention, and captivate emotion at the drop of a dime... all from REAL experiences. The simplistic emotion in this piece, contrasted with the complications of the situation, really give it a soft touch. When you read it... the unfortunate sort of irony washes over you, and pulls you down. You feel for Steven.. and his helpless innocent love, and you feel for you... who is sheltered from a person who was close to you... and you feel for your husband... who had to deal with someone falling in love with his fiance (now wife). This poem makes me sad because of the fact that everyone involved seems to be getting the short end of the stick... and no one can do anything about it... or control the emotions involved... from the heart of someone who tries so hard to shed a little bit of happiness on everyone, and constantly trying to please and soothe... this piece just leaves a little emotional scar... that while being numb... will never really heal. Its a memory, a past part of your life... and its like a little tiny piece of your heart is reserved for eternity to this "Steven" for being the loving friend he was... for better or for worse. God this poem tears me up... but a lot of things you say and write are able to do that.
    | Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]