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A Walk on the Beach

Author: LossOfHope03
ASL Info:    16/female/USA
Elite Ratio:    5.76 - 30 /29 /31
Words: 120
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 687
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 718


really rough poem that's kind of old. tell me what you think.

A Walk on the Beach

Walking up on a sandy shore,
Something poked at my toes.
Water grabbing at a helpless face,
One sad face like a rose.
A face alone and shivery cold,
Eyes goes where the wind goes.
White, ghostly almost in the sand,
One sad face like a rose.
It was pretty, that I am sure.
A thin face, pointed nose
I marveled at it, then went home.
One sad face like a rose.
I went back to the beach
My mind was not my foe.
The face was not anywhere at all,
One sad face like a rose.
I couldn't find the face anywhere
I remember the pose,
It must have been a vivid dream,
One sad face like a rose.

Submitted on 2008-08-03 04:11:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is an interesting piece. It contained a lot of symbolism, and could be interpreted several ways. however, none are as important as how it is in your own mind. I can tell a lot of thought was put into this poem. It has a lot of depth, and there seems to be a melancholy tone to the whole poem.

I am a big fan of repetition, and you used it well in this.

All in all, an eloquent piece.

There are a few spots where it seemed to stumble over words, like you interrupted the flow of the poem to save a sense of proper grammar.

Anyways, this is a quaint and pleasing poem.

Thanks for submitting it!

| Posted on 2008-08-03 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]

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