[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Have a Drumdots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 978
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Have a Drumdots

    I have a drum

    While playing I perceive
    the heartbeat of the world

    I have a drum

    And in that space all people
    are equal in speech and song

    I have a drum

    Where sonic strands weave into
    a gossamer and satin sound

    I have a drum

    A blanket wrapping divided souls
    in elegance, solace and warmth

    I have a drum

    A pebble plopped into a pond
    and resonating circle ripples

    I have a drum

    Where rebels against hate
    and bureaucracy congregate

    I have a drum

    Making waves that touch
    things beyond my myopia

    I have a drum

    A space for love as metaphor
    the rhythm of throbbing hearts

    I have a drum

    Submitted on 2008-08-03 17:49:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    This write again reminded me just why I have always been so fond of your poetry
    You speak such truth in this one
    There is a rhythem and a beat that is always everlasting in this world
    I like to thimnk of it like this
    One can never achieve pure silence in this world because their is always some sound for one to hear be it something as simple as the sound of our fingers typing out a new write
    How are things going in California
    Im glad to see you back posting
    I missed you
    God Bless
    Please keep in touch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    | Posted on 2008-08-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the lines "I have a drum
    boom-ba-dum " because they seemed so innocent, whereas every line after it was so spiritual and eloquant, but it resonated with the same innocence you started with. I loved them, because I could almost see you as a little child beating your drum with a smile on your face, and then you currently, with a smile on your face, but your eyes are closed because you're connecting with the Divine as you're playing. It's a really powerful line also, because it sort of has that warrior sense to it, too, that it's such a powerful and proud statement, like someone who got their own sword. It's powerful.

    A few things before I add this to my faves.
    "A blanket wrapping divided souls
    in elegance, solace and warmth"

    There should be a comma after solace, or at least that's how it reads to me, there's a breath pause there for me, and it's not written in it.

    "A pebble plopped into a pond
    and resonating circle ripples "

    Also, I think it's "a resonating circle ripples" or maybe "resonating circles ripple"

    Yea, that's pretty much it for me, now this is going to be on my faves list.
    | Posted on 2008-08-04 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]