Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lipgloss...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jazzy
    ASL Info:    14/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.78 - 84/139/145
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 34
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 401



    Description:
       idk rly


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLipgloss...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lipgloss like the rainbow
    Goes swirling through my
    Nightmares like little rays
    Of shiny, tasty hope.

    When something goes
    All wrong, or all right,
    It doesn't matter.

    My dreams are filled with
    Legends of forever, with
    Lipgloss like the tropical islands
    With hope that shines
    Like pretty magazine pages.




    Submitted on 2008-08-03 21:34:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem's flow is fabulous.
    I love the symbolism you used, and although it is short, if you had made it any longer it would have ruined the style.
    I like your sense of abstractness in the poem, one that sort of echoes the idea of dreams, nightmares.

    It was an interesting choice, using lip gloss as your metaphor, but it fit very well in this case.

    I liked this little morsel. It was pleasing to the eye and mind.

    Thanks for the Submit!

    -Cupcake
    | Posted on 2008-08-03 00:00:00 | by CourtneyLynne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    164288



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry