Trying To Breathe by BCute

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Submission Name: Trying To Breathe dots

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Author:	BCute
ASL Info:	23/F/MO
Elite Ratio:	3.79 - 1295/1417/363
Words:	91

Class/Type:	Poetry/You left me
Total Views:	48
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	675

Description:
I'm trying to breathe.

Trying To Breathe dots

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Moonbeams and sunsets never seemed so sweet,
With dew washing over grass blades
Nightengales sing softly, whispering
Secrets of things that never keep.

Jeans turn cool as she sits and stares,
Looking into a distant future that remains unseen
Doors have closed without windows opening
People always leaving, so it seems.

Dreams occur of happiness- -probably…
Maybe…
Eventually…
Euphoria might happen- -a probability.

But for now, on a hilltop…
She’ll sit staring into the darkness.
The sun having set and just…
Focus on trying to breathe.

Submitted on 2008-08-04 01:51:04 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
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||| Comments |||
  standing and waiting at the mercy of Destiny's fingertips, moving the chords of your soul as a marionette.

life takes it own course, and we can't fight the current-
we can only chase the waves behind eyes with a cold respite, for whatever tomorrow holds is still unknown to a certain extent, even through our ponders and kept-agendas, calender books and meticulous scrutiny over the daily o' de chore.

timeless is what i felt within this read, and a sense of calm. more relaxed than other reads, as though somewhere you have finally found inner peace.

and although never eternally promised, and as succinct as this notion may be, its here.

i personally thank you for the read, and hope to read more from you soon.

good day,
Tomas
| Posted on 2008-08-14 00:00:00 | by Loquacious Mind | [ Reply to This ]
  oh abbey, i love this poem. It's beautiful. And breathing is always the hardest part, when sometimes you just wish you wouldn't breathe at all.

Cat
| Posted on 2008-08-07 00:00:00 | by dancer06 | [ Reply to This ]
  hey! haven't talked to you in a while...haha remember me? anyways to the poem at hand.
love this poem. i can distinctly see a girl sitting outside just trying to breathe. i love it. you wrote it in this effortless way, like the words seemed to roll off your tongue and on to the page. nothing seemed forced. it was smooth and there was no fumbling for the right word. i like that a lot.
i wouldn't change anything in this poem i like how it all flows.
great job!
~nickie.

| Posted on 2008-08-04 00:00:00 | by LossOfHope03 | [ Reply to This ]

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