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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alive.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kickit
    ASL Info:    18/F/ON
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 14/5/6
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 60
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 768



    Description:
       n/a


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlive.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    a little girl walks by, the big red umbrella hanging from her side
    she watches the sun set, trying to create a malicious lie

    how will she explain the rip in her fancy skirt, or the fact that her knees are stained with dirt?
    where will she find the makeup to hide, the ugly mark he gave her when she cried?

    isn't it lucky that she didn't die?

    her yellow rubber boots are stained with her blood, the blisters are popping so quickly inside
    wincing as she waddles over to the side, she touches her leg, wiping the semen left behind

    she falls on her knees, staring at the ground wishing that she listened to her mamma who always said 'be home by 5'






    Submitted on 2008-08-04 04:17:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I like this piece. I immediately thought that she must've been raped/sexually assaulted from the beginning which I think is a credit to you.

    Your little girl is positioned to be so innocent, which is created by your language choice. The overall piece sounds innocent but is quite a controversial issue, so I thought that was interesting. It wasn't written as a morose/dark or haunting poem as these subjects are normally portrayed.

    Refreshing :)

    Keep it up, Helena
    | Posted on 2008-08-05 00:00:00 | by Krypton3 | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks a lot :D i'm glad you liked my poems.

    Throughout your whole poem "Alive" i was wondering what might have happened to this poor little girl, but when i found out i was pretty much heartbroken. haha

    Great stuff.
    | Posted on 2008-08-04 00:00:00 | by SexyBeazt | [ Reply to This ]



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